Showing posts with label Anger. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Anger. Show all posts
Friday, July 15, 2011
Love is not Irritable
"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things" (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).
Sunday, November 15, 2009
I Found a Savior (Part One)
I wrote a very condensed version of a Contact Church member's story on my blog last month. This time, I will let her tell her story in her own words. She wrote this for Ron and Judy Babbit's newsletter to supporters of their ministry with the Contact Church.
"I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, incest, rape, physical and emotional abuse. I am overcoming chemical addiction, alcoholism, co-dependency, and sexual immorality. I still struggle with control, anger, un-forgiveness, fear, and feelings of inadequacy. It is a blessing for me to be a light of God's grace, glory, forgiveness, and unfailing love, and how it has been demonstrated in my life.
"I was born in Tulsa, Oklahoma. My childhood was chaotic at best. Very little consistency ever, well actually there was some. I knew there would be drinking, fighting, drugs, and yelling. Around age 8 or 9, myself and other family members were molested by a live-in babysitter who was a 28 year old male. After all the fighting and everything else in our home, it changed a lot of things. I began withdrawing and isolating myself. I went from a straight A student to a straight F student. I felt so dirty, angry, ugly, unlovable, and ignored. Couldn't my mom see, didn't she know, did she even care, and how selfish was it of me to feel that way when she was the one being beat up everyday. How could I even tell her? Nevertheless, these feelings went on for a while until one day my mom demanded to know the truth. With a lot of resistance I finally told her.
"Shortly after that my dad showed up. I needed my dad to love, approve, and protect me. When my dad began putting me in his bed I began having what I call emotional blackouts. It stopped with me and began with my sister. When she told me I called the police and had us removed. My sister and I were taken to a Tulsa shelter for children and then to DHS where my mom and dad would both exit the elevator and dad walked out of our lives. I began lying to myself about what my dad did to me. You see when I called the police I told my sister's truth not mine. I wanted my dad to be anything other than what he was or actually what his sin had made him. I still love him very much and accept all the things that have brought me right here today and made me into the woman God called me to be.
"My mom kept me for a little while longer and then gave me a choice to go live with my grandparents or she would separate all 5 of us into foster homes. Now my own mom was giving up on me. I was delivered to my grandparents. My grandpa began touching me in ways that made my skin crawl and I remember the alcohol on his breath. I began to despise the smell of alcohol especially after a 3 day drunk.
"I began seeking attention by kissing and touching, after all I could control that part or so I thought. I began trying to find love in sexual relationships. I tried to build a marriage on sexual relationship, in fact 2 marriages on sexual relationships. My first marriage took a turn for the worst when he joined the army. I felt abandoned and I didn't know how to be alone and unprotected. I cheated, got pregnant and was faced with what I had done almost immediately. I believe God had convicted me. Consumed with guilt and the fact that I couldn't hide what I had done, I called Russell and told him. While Marvin Phillips had baptized me 7 or 8 years earlier at Garnett Church of Christ, I still had doubts about his love for me. But God was working out my salvation and still is."
To be continued.
"I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, incest, rape, physical and emotional abuse. I am overcoming chemical addiction, alcoholism, co-dependency, and sexual immorality. I still struggle with control, anger, un-forgiveness, fear, and feelings of inadequacy. It is a blessing for me to be a light of God's grace, glory, forgiveness, and unfailing love, and how it has been demonstrated in my life.
"I was born in Tulsa, Oklahoma. My childhood was chaotic at best. Very little consistency ever, well actually there was some. I knew there would be drinking, fighting, drugs, and yelling. Around age 8 or 9, myself and other family members were molested by a live-in babysitter who was a 28 year old male. After all the fighting and everything else in our home, it changed a lot of things. I began withdrawing and isolating myself. I went from a straight A student to a straight F student. I felt so dirty, angry, ugly, unlovable, and ignored. Couldn't my mom see, didn't she know, did she even care, and how selfish was it of me to feel that way when she was the one being beat up everyday. How could I even tell her? Nevertheless, these feelings went on for a while until one day my mom demanded to know the truth. With a lot of resistance I finally told her.
"Shortly after that my dad showed up. I needed my dad to love, approve, and protect me. When my dad began putting me in his bed I began having what I call emotional blackouts. It stopped with me and began with my sister. When she told me I called the police and had us removed. My sister and I were taken to a Tulsa shelter for children and then to DHS where my mom and dad would both exit the elevator and dad walked out of our lives. I began lying to myself about what my dad did to me. You see when I called the police I told my sister's truth not mine. I wanted my dad to be anything other than what he was or actually what his sin had made him. I still love him very much and accept all the things that have brought me right here today and made me into the woman God called me to be.
"My mom kept me for a little while longer and then gave me a choice to go live with my grandparents or she would separate all 5 of us into foster homes. Now my own mom was giving up on me. I was delivered to my grandparents. My grandpa began touching me in ways that made my skin crawl and I remember the alcohol on his breath. I began to despise the smell of alcohol especially after a 3 day drunk.
"I began seeking attention by kissing and touching, after all I could control that part or so I thought. I began trying to find love in sexual relationships. I tried to build a marriage on sexual relationship, in fact 2 marriages on sexual relationships. My first marriage took a turn for the worst when he joined the army. I felt abandoned and I didn't know how to be alone and unprotected. I cheated, got pregnant and was faced with what I had done almost immediately. I believe God had convicted me. Consumed with guilt and the fact that I couldn't hide what I had done, I called Russell and told him. While Marvin Phillips had baptized me 7 or 8 years earlier at Garnett Church of Christ, I still had doubts about his love for me. But God was working out my salvation and still is."
To be continued.
Sunday, January 04, 2009
Reasons to Love Jesus: #4 His Anger
Jesus became angry at the right time for appropriate reasons. His anger was never driven by selfishness, narcissism, or fear.
Jesus Christ became angry when someone used religion in an inappropriate way.
"When it was almost time for the Jewish Passover, Jesus went up to Jerusalem. In the temple courts he found men selling cattle, sheep, and doves, and others sitting at tables exchanging money. So he made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple area, both sheep and cattle; he scattered the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables. To those who sold doves he said, 'Get these out of here! How dare you turn my Father's house into a market!'" (John 2:13-16).
Jesus Christ became indignant when children were mistreated and not allowed to approach him.
"People were bringing little children to Jesus to have him touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.' And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them" (Mark 10:13-16).
Jesus Christ became angry and distressed when people allowed rules to stand in the way of helping others who were hurting.
"Another time he went into the synagogue, and a man with a shriveled hand was there. Some of them were looking for a reason to accuse Jesus, so they watched him closely to see if he would heal him on the Sabbath. Jesus said to the man with the shriveled hand, 'Stand up in front of everyone.'
"Then Jesus asked them, 'Which is lawful on the Sabbath: to do good or to do evil, to save life or to kill?' But they remained silent.
"He looked around at them in anger and, deeply distressed at their stubborn hearts, said to the man, 'Stretch out your hand.' He stretched it out, and his hand was completely restored" (Mark 3:1-5).
Jesus Christ became angry when someone used religion in an inappropriate way.
"When it was almost time for the Jewish Passover, Jesus went up to Jerusalem. In the temple courts he found men selling cattle, sheep, and doves, and others sitting at tables exchanging money. So he made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple area, both sheep and cattle; he scattered the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables. To those who sold doves he said, 'Get these out of here! How dare you turn my Father's house into a market!'" (John 2:13-16).
Jesus Christ became indignant when children were mistreated and not allowed to approach him.
"People were bringing little children to Jesus to have him touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.' And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them" (Mark 10:13-16).
Jesus Christ became angry and distressed when people allowed rules to stand in the way of helping others who were hurting.
"Another time he went into the synagogue, and a man with a shriveled hand was there. Some of them were looking for a reason to accuse Jesus, so they watched him closely to see if he would heal him on the Sabbath. Jesus said to the man with the shriveled hand, 'Stand up in front of everyone.'
"Then Jesus asked them, 'Which is lawful on the Sabbath: to do good or to do evil, to save life or to kill?' But they remained silent.
"He looked around at them in anger and, deeply distressed at their stubborn hearts, said to the man, 'Stretch out your hand.' He stretched it out, and his hand was completely restored" (Mark 3:1-5).
Sunday, October 07, 2007
The Anger of Jesus
"Another time he went into the synagogue, and a man with a shriveled hand was there. Some of them were looking for a reason to accuse Jesus, so they watched him closely to see if he would heal him on the Sabbath. Jesus said to the man with the shriveled hand, 'Stand up in front of everyone.'
Then Jesus asked them, 'Which is lawful on the Sabbath: to do good or to do evil, to save life or to kill?' But they remained silent.
He looked around at them in anger and, deeply distressed at their stubborn hearts, said to the man, 'Stretch out your hand.' He stretched it out, and his hand was completely restored. Then the Pharisees went out and began to plot with the Herodians how they might kill Jesus" (Mark 3:1-6, NIV).
Most of the time, when I think of the character of Jesus, I think of his compassion or his courage or his faithfulness. I seldom think of his anger, but his anger gives us some insight into his character, which we are called to imitate.
On this occasion, Jesus became angry when the Pharisees were more concerned about their rule-keeping than about a hurting man. He became furious at the virtuous men who had become blind to the needs of the people around them.
I have some understanding of the Pharisees, though. Sometimes I become so task-oriented that I lose sight of the people around me. How often have I become so engrossed in preparing a Bible lesson for Sunday morning that I have become blind to my wife's need to help with the dishes or my son's need for attention? How many times have I not even noticed that a co-worker's life is falling apart a few feet from me because I am obsessed with meeting a deadline? I have no idea, but I have some idea of how it can be easy to miss the needs of people while focusing on a task. The Pharisees were focused on the task of keeping the Sabbath, but they could not see a man in need among them.
Sometimes like the Pharisees, we make up rules in churches. For example, we may have a rule against cell phone usage during worship assemblies. It's a good rule most of the time. It keeps us from distractions. However, when it gets in the way of human needs, I know that it makes Jesus angry as much as the Sabbath rules of the Pharisees made him angry.
I remember one time when a church broke the rules because of our needs, and I am grateful for their willingness to do so. The weekend before our son was born, Janet and I knew that the time was near. We knew that Christopher's birth mother was due to give birth at any time, and that her lawyers could call at any moment for us to go to the hospital. We explained our situation to Tracy Ellis, the minister of the Jenks Church. "No problem," he said. He knew our needs and he refused to let the rules get in the way of meeting them. I kept my eyes on our cell phone the entire morning. I believe that Jesus smiled on the Jenks Church that Sunday morning as a rule was broken, but a need was met. (It turned out that we did not get the call during church services. We were able to be at the hospital 2 days later when our son was born. Another day later, we took him home. The adoption was completed a few months later.)
In order to be more like Jesus, I need to learn from his anger. I need to be more people-oriented and less task-oriented. I need to see the importance of people and be willing to get past rules that interfere with doing what God wants to be done. And I must become angry at what makes Jesus angry. "For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son..." (Romans 8:29, NIV).
Then Jesus asked them, 'Which is lawful on the Sabbath: to do good or to do evil, to save life or to kill?' But they remained silent.
He looked around at them in anger and, deeply distressed at their stubborn hearts, said to the man, 'Stretch out your hand.' He stretched it out, and his hand was completely restored. Then the Pharisees went out and began to plot with the Herodians how they might kill Jesus" (Mark 3:1-6, NIV).
Most of the time, when I think of the character of Jesus, I think of his compassion or his courage or his faithfulness. I seldom think of his anger, but his anger gives us some insight into his character, which we are called to imitate.
On this occasion, Jesus became angry when the Pharisees were more concerned about their rule-keeping than about a hurting man. He became furious at the virtuous men who had become blind to the needs of the people around them.
I have some understanding of the Pharisees, though. Sometimes I become so task-oriented that I lose sight of the people around me. How often have I become so engrossed in preparing a Bible lesson for Sunday morning that I have become blind to my wife's need to help with the dishes or my son's need for attention? How many times have I not even noticed that a co-worker's life is falling apart a few feet from me because I am obsessed with meeting a deadline? I have no idea, but I have some idea of how it can be easy to miss the needs of people while focusing on a task. The Pharisees were focused on the task of keeping the Sabbath, but they could not see a man in need among them.
Sometimes like the Pharisees, we make up rules in churches. For example, we may have a rule against cell phone usage during worship assemblies. It's a good rule most of the time. It keeps us from distractions. However, when it gets in the way of human needs, I know that it makes Jesus angry as much as the Sabbath rules of the Pharisees made him angry.
I remember one time when a church broke the rules because of our needs, and I am grateful for their willingness to do so. The weekend before our son was born, Janet and I knew that the time was near. We knew that Christopher's birth mother was due to give birth at any time, and that her lawyers could call at any moment for us to go to the hospital. We explained our situation to Tracy Ellis, the minister of the Jenks Church. "No problem," he said. He knew our needs and he refused to let the rules get in the way of meeting them. I kept my eyes on our cell phone the entire morning. I believe that Jesus smiled on the Jenks Church that Sunday morning as a rule was broken, but a need was met. (It turned out that we did not get the call during church services. We were able to be at the hospital 2 days later when our son was born. Another day later, we took him home. The adoption was completed a few months later.)
In order to be more like Jesus, I need to learn from his anger. I need to be more people-oriented and less task-oriented. I need to see the importance of people and be willing to get past rules that interfere with doing what God wants to be done. And I must become angry at what makes Jesus angry. "For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son..." (Romans 8:29, NIV).
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