Our Son's Finest Moment

The little girl stank.

Literally.

Our son Christopher wanted to have nothing to do with her. She was a girl in his second grade class who had no friends. No one wanted to be close to someone with her odor.

Some of our son's friends called her derogatory names. Some mistreated her, tripping her when she walked by or "accidentally" running into her on the playground.

Christopher knew better than to do anything that would get himself into trouble. He avoided the temptation to mistreat the little girl. But he didn't like her. He did not like her smell. And he could not bring himself to intervene when she was being picked on by other kids.

After a few weeks in school, we discovered the cause of her smell. The girl had a medical condition preventing her from completely controlling her bladder. Sometimes she would wet herself.

She could not prevent an occasional accident; and it made her life difficult.

When Christopher found out about her medical condition, he still did not like this little girl. However, he began to ask us, "Do you feel sorry for ________? She doesn't have any friends." Slowly, he began to empathize with his classmate. He began to think about what life would be like for him if he could not control his ability to go to the bathroom when needed. He began to realize that he might have problems in making friends. He started to understand that he might be defensive, too, if he were called names or picked on by other kids all the time.

It took a long time, but near the end of the school year, Christopher announced to us one evening, "___________ and I are allies now." (He refers to his friends as his "allies".) He had convinced a few other boys in his class to accept the girl into their group. He had risked the rejection of his friends in order to bring an ostracized little girl into his group.

For the first time as a second grade student, the girl had "allies". She had a group who accepted her. She had a few boys who would defend her rather than mistreat her.

It was our son's finest moment.

Just Courage

Gary Haugen, the president and CEO of International Justice Mission (http://www.ijm.org/), senses a restlessness among American Christians. We appear to be dissatisfied with the safety of our routine suburban Christianity in which we pray, read the Bible, attend worship services, and perform small acts of kindness for our neighbors. While none of that is bad and each of those activities is necessary to be fulfilled, we know something vital is missing in such a life.

In his new book, Just Courage, Mr. Haugen argues that many Christians are missing out on the risks and adventure of pursuing justice for the poor. Throughout the world, the poor are suffering from injustice. Little girls in southeast Asia are being kidnapped and enslaved in brothels by adults who will profit from their continual raping by violent men. Widows in Africa are being forced from their homes and property by bullies who would have never had the guts to take on their deceased husbands. Men, women, and children in India are being deceived into slavery and brutally beaten and mutilated so that they remain enslaved.

"The sin of injustice," Mr. Haugen writes, "is defined in the Bible as the abuse of power--abusing power by taking from others the good things that God intended for them, namely, their life, liberty, dignity, or the fruits of their love or their labor" (p. 46). He goes on to argue that Christians need to stand up against violent perpetrators of injustice. Feeding the hungry and providing medical care for the poor are good deeds, but sometimes the world's poor need something more: they need to be rescued from their oppressors, and they need men and women who will risk personal harm to stand between them and their oppressors. They need courageous Christians who will love and protect them.

In the last chapter, Gary Haugen writes, "There are two things that are always the will of God and almost always dangerous: telling the truth and loving needy people...Doing what Jesus does--telling the truth and loving needy people--is inherently unsafe in a fallen world of lies and selfishness...It's not safe to love people in need...It's messy, untidy, unsafe, and even dangerous. And yet, paradoxically, Jesus tells us this is where the deepest joy is found"(pp. 115-116).

Just Courage is a small book with a powerful message. If you are bored with your Christianity, this could be the book for you. You just might be inspired to join International Justice Mission in its efforts to rescue slaves and prosecute oppressors. You might be inspired to serve the poor in some other way. You will be challenged to have the love and courage to

"Seek justice,

encourage the oppressed.

Defend the cause of the fatherless,

plead the case of the widow" (Isaiah 1:17, NIV).

No More Jellyfish, Chickens, or Wimps (Part 5)

With my final installment in my review of Paul Coughlin's No More Jellyfish, Chickens, or Wimps, I will focus on his advice for bullying. Too many children are bullied by other children because:
1. They do not know how to avoid being targets of bullies.
2. They are incapable, because of mental or physical disabilities, of avoiding being targets of bullies.
3. "Innocent" bystanders allow or encourage the bullying of these children.

Mr. Coughlin writes, "Bullies and related criminals look for people who exhibit what they call a 'victim's stance':
*Faces pointed down
*Eyes too quick to make eye contact with others; eyes unfocused
*Hunched shoulders
*Arms that are close to their bodies, revealing a more protective pose
*Short, unsure steps

"The Protectors teaches kids how to tower, not cower. For example:
*Stand up straight
*Chest out instead of in
*Steady eye contact with level chin
*Walk with purpose and energy
*Look confident while seated
*Girls: Don't carry your books by hugging them to your chest, which makes your shoulders curl forward" (pp.177-178).

Those simple tips will go far in preventing bullying, because bullies look for the weak and avoid the strong.

However, some children will not be able to avoid being victims of bullies. In such cases, bystanders must be taught and encouraged to intervene on behalf of victims. "Most bullying would not take place if it weren't for the display of power they want others to witness. Bystanders vastly outnumber both predators and prey...The reason for their lack of intervention comes down to basic human nature. The indifferent, confused, and/or fearful masses who witness bullying are urged from within not to be courageous and protective but to shrink instead" (p. 147).

We have a moral obligation to act on behalf of victims of injustice whenever we can. As the Bible teaches, "Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act" (Proverbs 3:27, NIV).

No More Jellyfish, Chickens, or Wimps should be required reading for every parent, school teacher, and minister. It is full of valuable insights. I highly recommend it and Mr. Coughlin's web site http://theprotectors.org, featuring a faith-based response to bullying on campus.