Guest Post at the Family Fountain Blog: The Challenge of Infertility

When my wife Janet and I were engaged to be married, we would talk for hours about our hopes and dreams. We would discuss careers, home life, and children. We planned to raise a household of biological and adopted children.


"The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps" (Proverbs 16:9, ESV). Our lives did not work out in quite the way we had planned. A couple of years into our marriage, we realized that we needed help. We had no children. After visiting a few doctors, we accepted our diagnosis. We were an infertile couple...


The rest of the post may be read on Warren Baldwin's Family Fountain blog at http://warrenbaldwin.blogspot.com/2011/04/guest-post-terry-laudett-challenge-of.html. You may also check out his blog by clicking on his name on my blog roll at the right side of this post. Thank you to Warren Baldwin for the opportunity to write a guest post for your blog!

A Birthday Letter to My Son

Dear Christopher,

Tomorrow will mark your 8th birthday. With that in mind, I would like to share a few thoughts about your birth and adoption. You may not completely understand everything that I am writing today, but someday you will.

First, I want you to know that God answers prayers. Your birth and adoption were the answer to 9 years of prayer by your mother and myself. We had hoped and prayed for a long time for your arrival. God was preparing us to become your parents, while teaching us patience and perseverance during those years of waiting. Then God answered our prayers with the son of our dreams.

Second, your birth and adoption crossed racial barriers. You were born on the day after Martin Luther King Jr. Day in 2003 to a young black woman who chose a childless white husband and wife to be your parents. It was appropriate that you came into our lives on the day after a day set apart in our country to honor the memory of the man who had dreamed of racial barriers being broken.

Third, your birth and adoption signified the value of choosing life over abortion. You were born the day before the 30th anniversary of the Supreme Court's Roe v. Wade decision legalizing all abortions in the United States. Your birthmother made a brave decision in choosing adoption over abortion in her situation. We have been honored to have been entrusted with protecting, nurturing, and helping to shape your life ever since.

Finally, I want you to know that Christopher means Christ-bearer. We were unaware of the meaning of your name when we chose it, but we look forward to seeing how you will live out its meaning. We pray that you will follow Christ closely all the days of your life, and take him with you wherever you go.

Christopher, you are a special child. You are loved. You are blessed and a blessing.

Love,
Daddy

Infertility Options

"When Rachel saw that she was not bearing Jacob any children, she became jealous of her sister. So she said to Jacob, 'Give me children, or I'll die!'" (Genesis 30:1).

Every infertile couple who wants children understands Rachel's emotions and words. Here are a few options for husbands and wives who face infertility and a desire for children:

1. Artificial insemination. In this procedure, the woman's ovulation is regulated by medication in order to help. The man's sperm is taken. Any defective sperm is removed so that it will not hinder good sperm from reaching its target. Then the sperm is inserted artificially into the woman's womb. This often works well. However, after several attempts, it did not work for Janet and myself.

2. In vitro fertilization. In this procedure, the woman's eggs are taken from her body and fertilized with the man's sperm. Then the children are placed in the womb with the hope of implantation and growth.

This option has a few ethical concerns, but it can be done without violating one's pro-life ethics.

The primary concern centers on what to do with unused embryos that have been made but never implanted. In order to avoid unused embryos, a couple can limit the number of eggs to be fertilized. Also, a couple should not implant more embryos than the mother can safely carry so that the physician does not attempt to talk the mother and father into aborting some of the children.

Finally, if a couple has embryos that they cannot implant, they can place those embryos for adoption through the Snowflakes Adoption Program at www.nightlight.org/snowflakeadoption.htm.

Janet and I did not attempt in vitro fertilization because of the ethical concerns, the cost (which was not covered by our insurance), and the failure rate.

3. Adoption. This was the best option for us. We used (and highly recommend) Christian Services of Oklahoma (http://www.christian-adoption.org/). Janet told our story about the adoption process on my blog at http://adisciplesthoughts.blogspot.com/2007/05/hope-fulfilled.html.

Thanks for reading. I hope this helps a couple going through infertility.