This is the video of Crawford Loritts' sermon from the recent Conference for Pastors at Bethlehem Baptist Church in Minneapolis. I appreciated his insights on the topic of fatherhood.
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Friday, February 10, 2012
Friday, July 29, 2011
Growing Up Colt
Like many people, I became very impressed with Colt McCoy after he lost the BCS Championship Game in January 2010. Colt was the quarterback of the Texas Longhorns. Early in the first quarter of the football game, he was knocked out of the game after being injured during a tackle by one of the University of Alabama's defensive ends. His dream of winning the national championship was crushed.
In the nationally broadcast post-game television interview immediately following the game, Colt McCoy congratulated the winners, complimented his teammates for working hard to win, and expressed his disappointment at being injured and unable to do more for his team. Then he made a fascinating statement: "I always give God the glory. I never question why things happen the way they do. God is in control of my life, and I know that if nothing else, I am standing on the Rock."
It's fairly common to hear an athlete thank God after a victory. But Colt McCoy gave glory to God after a major defeat. His response stood out. I kept hearing portions of his interview the next day on ESPN radio. He had made an impact in his disappointment and defeat that others do not make in victory.
In Growing Up Colt, current Cleveland Browns quarterback Colt McCoy and his father, Brad McCoy, tell the story of how Colt grew up to be the man he has become. (Professional writer Mike Yorkey, author of an excellent book titled Playing With Purpose, also collaborated in writing this book.) The book is filled with stories of faith, family, and football.
As a father, I was impressed with the counter-cultural mindset and positive attitude nurtured in Colt by his parents. Colt grew up with parents who helped him to develop a strong faith in Jesus Christ, a commitment to high ethical standards (including sexual purity and compassion for others), and a winsome style of leadership which he has used to bring out the best in the people around him.
Growing Up Colt is a good book for anyone who likes football. But it's an even better book for Christian parents who want to be inspired to raise good and godly children who will make a positive difference in their world.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Thursday, June 09, 2011
Something Special in Memphis
I witnessed something special while on vacation in Memphis, Tennessee, this week.
The National Civil Rights Museum had nothing to do with it. The musicians of Beale Street were not involved. Neither the panda bears nor the Komodo dragons at the Memphis Zoo had anything to do with it.
Instead, it involved a small family eating lunch together at the Incredible Pizza Company.
When I first caught a glimpse of the husband, he didn't appear to be anything special. He looked a little overweight and unkempt as he picked up a tray and a couple of plates to fill with pizza. Nobody special, I assumed.
However, he began to seem quite a bit more special as he approached the table where his wife and young son were sitting. They were waiting patiently as the husband and father brought their meals to them.
As the man left the table in order to get his own pizza, I noticed his wife for the first time. She looked like a normal young woman in her twenties, but something about the manner in which her head jerked and her hands trembled indicated a problem with her motor skills. Upon a closer look, I realized that she was sitting in a wheelchair.
Had the young woman experienced a stroke or suffered a severe brain injury during an accident in the couple of years since her son's birth? I didn't know. But I knew that I had just witnessed something special: a man who was serious about loving his wife and providing his son with a good example.
This man had not merely remained with his wife following her debilitating injury. He had not merely met her basic physical needs. This man went out of his way to serve his wife.
He made sure that his wife would be present for both the meal and the games that their son would play afterwards in the restaurant's arcade. She would not be able to fully participate, but her husband made certain that she would at least be there.
It was simple, but thoughtful. It was something special in Memphis.
"Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman..." (1 Peter 3:7).
The National Civil Rights Museum had nothing to do with it. The musicians of Beale Street were not involved. Neither the panda bears nor the Komodo dragons at the Memphis Zoo had anything to do with it.
Instead, it involved a small family eating lunch together at the Incredible Pizza Company.
When I first caught a glimpse of the husband, he didn't appear to be anything special. He looked a little overweight and unkempt as he picked up a tray and a couple of plates to fill with pizza. Nobody special, I assumed.
However, he began to seem quite a bit more special as he approached the table where his wife and young son were sitting. They were waiting patiently as the husband and father brought their meals to them.
As the man left the table in order to get his own pizza, I noticed his wife for the first time. She looked like a normal young woman in her twenties, but something about the manner in which her head jerked and her hands trembled indicated a problem with her motor skills. Upon a closer look, I realized that she was sitting in a wheelchair.
Had the young woman experienced a stroke or suffered a severe brain injury during an accident in the couple of years since her son's birth? I didn't know. But I knew that I had just witnessed something special: a man who was serious about loving his wife and providing his son with a good example.
This man had not merely remained with his wife following her debilitating injury. He had not merely met her basic physical needs. This man went out of his way to serve his wife.
He made sure that his wife would be present for both the meal and the games that their son would play afterwards in the restaurant's arcade. She would not be able to fully participate, but her husband made certain that she would at least be there.
It was simple, but thoughtful. It was something special in Memphis.
"Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman..." (1 Peter 3:7).
Friday, April 01, 2011
The Successful Dad
The Successful Dad
(Author Unknown)
I may never be as clever as my
neighbor down the street,
I may never be as wealthy as some
other men I meet.
I may never have the glory that some
other men have had,
But I've just got to be successful as
that little fellow's dad.
There are certain dreams I cherish,
that I'd like to see come true,
There are things I would like to do.
There are things I would like to
accomplish before my earthly life is through.
But the task I've set my heart on is
to guide a little lad,
To make myself successful as that
little fellow's dad.
Oh, I may never come to glory, I may
never gather gold,
And when my business life is over,
I may be considered a failure as told.
But the task I've set my heart on is
to guide a little lad,
To make myself successful as that
little fellow's dad.
It's the one job that I dream of,
The task I think of most,
For if I fail that little fellow,
I have nothing else to boast.
For the wealth and fame I'd gather,
all my fortune would be sad,
If I fail to be successful as that little
fellow's dad.
Wednesday, March 09, 2011
Build Me a Son, O Lord
BUILD ME A SON, O LORD by General Douglas MacArthur
Build me a son, O Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak, and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid; one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat, and humble and gentle in victory.
Build me a son whose wishbone will not be where his backbone should be; a son who will know Thee….Lead him, I pray, not in the path of ease and comfort, but under the stress and spur of difficulties and challenge. Here let him learn to stand up in the storm; here let him learn compassion for those who fail.
Build me a son whose heart will be clean, whose goal will be high; a son who will master himself before he seeks to master other men; one who will learn to laugh, yet never forget how to weep; one who will reach into the future, yet never forget the past.
And after all these things are his, add, I pray, enough of a sense of humor, so that he may always be serious, yet never take himself too seriously. Give him humility, so that he may always remember the simplicity of greatness, the open mind of true wisdom, the meekness of true strength.
Then I, his father, will dare to whisper, “I have not lived in vain.”
Build me a son, O Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak, and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid; one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat, and humble and gentle in victory.
Build me a son whose wishbone will not be where his backbone should be; a son who will know Thee….Lead him, I pray, not in the path of ease and comfort, but under the stress and spur of difficulties and challenge. Here let him learn to stand up in the storm; here let him learn compassion for those who fail.
Build me a son whose heart will be clean, whose goal will be high; a son who will master himself before he seeks to master other men; one who will learn to laugh, yet never forget how to weep; one who will reach into the future, yet never forget the past.
And after all these things are his, add, I pray, enough of a sense of humor, so that he may always be serious, yet never take himself too seriously. Give him humility, so that he may always remember the simplicity of greatness, the open mind of true wisdom, the meekness of true strength.
Then I, his father, will dare to whisper, “I have not lived in vain.”
Saturday, March 05, 2011
Ordinary Christians
Sometimes it's good to notice the extraordinary impact of ordinary Christians around me.
These are the Christians who serve God faithfully without knowing how much of a difference they are making in the world around them.
They love and respect their husbands and wives. They honor their parents. They nurture, discipline, and instruct their children.
They show up to work on time and ready for the day. They approach their jobs with good attitudes. They care about their co-workers, employees, and customers. They take the time to listen to the concerns of others, sometimes offering helpful advice and sometimes offering a prayer. They are sincere in their gratitude when they are helped; and they are willing to help others whenever possible.
They spend time reading their Bibles and praying. They want to be close to their Lord. They want to know him better. They believe what they read in their Bibles; and they trust that God is listening to their pleas on behalf of the people for whom they pray.
They enjoy worshipping with their local churches. They participate in and teach Bible classes. They clean the church buildings. They mow the grass and shovel the snow on the church's property. They serve food when the church shares meals. They drive the vans to pick up people who want to worship with them.
They volunteer to help teachers at their local schools. They coach and support their children's sports teams. They are involved in their children's scouting programs. They e-mail and meet with their political leaders in support of just legislation or in opposition to unjust legislation. They raise money to fight diseases. They recycle paper, plastic, and aluminum products to help the environment. They get their pets from the local animal shelter.
They share the good news of Christ whenever an opportunity arises. They adopt children, volunteer for pro-life ministries, and sponsor children around the world through Christian relief organizations. They send money to organizations that fight global poverty and others that translate the Scriptures into native languages around the world.
They are ordinary Christians, but they are intentionally committed to doing good so that others are blessed and God is glorified.
"...let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven" (Matthew 5:16).
Friday, March 04, 2011
The Successful Father
I will succeed as a father if I can help my son to develop a desire for the right things in life:
~right motives
~right attitudes
~right actions
~right relationships with other people and with God
"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied" (Matthew 5:6).
Sunday, February 06, 2011
Praying for the Missing Fathers
In his sermon today, one of our ministers, Joel Osborn, mentioned helping to teach our congregation's first and second grade Sunday school class with his wife Rhonda. At one point during the class, the children took turns praying. He noticed that three of the children prayed for fathers. One boy prayed for his father who was in prison. Two others prayed that they would simply have fathers.
This is a common source of heartache for many children.
In this video, former NFL coach Tony Dungy recognizes the problem of fatherlessness in America and offers a little advice to help solve the problem:
"And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers..." (Malachi 4:6).
This is a common source of heartache for many children.
In this video, former NFL coach Tony Dungy recognizes the problem of fatherlessness in America and offers a little advice to help solve the problem:
"And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers..." (Malachi 4:6).
Thursday, January 20, 2011
A Birthday Letter to My Son
Dear Christopher,
Tomorrow will mark your 8th birthday. With that in mind, I would like to share a few thoughts about your birth and adoption. You may not completely understand everything that I am writing today, but someday you will.
First, I want you to know that God answers prayers. Your birth and adoption were the answer to 9 years of prayer by your mother and myself. We had hoped and prayed for a long time for your arrival. God was preparing us to become your parents, while teaching us patience and perseverance during those years of waiting. Then God answered our prayers with the son of our dreams.
Second, your birth and adoption crossed racial barriers. You were born on the day after Martin Luther King Jr. Day in 2003 to a young black woman who chose a childless white husband and wife to be your parents. It was appropriate that you came into our lives on the day after a day set apart in our country to honor the memory of the man who had dreamed of racial barriers being broken.
Third, your birth and adoption signified the value of choosing life over abortion. You were born the day before the 30th anniversary of the Supreme Court's Roe v. Wade decision legalizing all abortions in the United States. Your birthmother made a brave decision in choosing adoption over abortion in her situation. We have been honored to have been entrusted with protecting, nurturing, and helping to shape your life ever since.
Finally, I want you to know that Christopher means Christ-bearer. We were unaware of the meaning of your name when we chose it, but we look forward to seeing how you will live out its meaning. We pray that you will follow Christ closely all the days of your life, and take him with you wherever you go.
Christopher, you are a special child. You are loved. You are blessed and a blessing.
Love,
Daddy
Sunday, January 09, 2011
A World of Hurting Souls
Recently, our preacher, Ron Babbit, sent a question to one of his friends in another state who teaches high school students. He asked the teacher to pose this question to his students: "What is the most difficult thing you have had to deal with growing up?" These are the responses from those students:
Boy (10th grade): "If I said that I have not looked at pornography, it would be a lie. My mom and dad have blockers on the Internet, but I know how to get around them. I wouldn't say that I'm addicted to porn; I just enjoy watching it when I am in the mood."
Girl (12th grade): "I am unsure of my sexuality. Sometimes I feel that I like guys and sometimes I feel that I like girls. I am attracted to both, and I just need to figure out which sex I like more."
Girl (9th grade): "My dad tells me every day that I am not pretty. He asks me why I can't be pretty like the other girls my age. He won't buy me any make-up because he says it won't help me look any better. He says it's a waste of money. I just want my father to like me."
Boy (12th grade): "My mom and I don't have any money. My dad is gone and my mom and I barely get by. We have had to move over 6 times in the past year, because we cannot pay our rent. It is very embarrassing for me because my friends are always asking me why I move."
Girl (10th grade): "I was raped over the summer two years ago and my dad didn't believe me. He said that I probably asked for it. To make matters worse, I became pregnant. Once my dad found out that the rape resulted in a pregnancy he just accused me of being promiscuous and told my family that I made up the rape story so that I wouldn't get in trouble. I had to change schools for a semester, and my father made me abort the baby."
Girl (10th grade): "I cut my thighs all the time. Every time that I feel pain or any time that I feel disappointment, I cut myself for punishment. I have been cutting myself ever since my mom and dad split up. I should have done more to keep them together. My dad is gone now and I never get to see him. It has been over three years since I have last seen him. I feel that my mom resents me but I don't know."
Girl (10th grade): "I have grown up in the church my whole life, and my dad is even a deacon in the church, but I hate church. I just go through the motions. I have to go to all the church functions and I have to put on my church face at school because everyone expects me to be that girl. Honestly, I have times where I can't stand God. I haven't prayed in over two years. I feel bad about it sometimes, but that is just how I feel right now. I'm tired of God being pushed on me from every direction."
Boy (12th grade): "I never feel that I am good enough. No matter what I do, I feel that I could do a better job. I want to succeed but feel that I can never please anyone. I just want to be successful, go to college, and follow in my sister's footsteps so that my folks will be happy with me."
Girl (12th grade): "My mom is a drug addict. My brother and I have to stay with my papa and meme sometimes. My mom never comes to any of my games and, when she is home, is just worried about getting her next fix. She can't hold down a job and is embarrassing. I put on my happy face at school, but really I want to just cry."
Girl (12th grade): "My uncle raped my sister and me when we were younger. We lived in Seattle and all of my other family lived here. We were raped over and over for a period of three years. Finally my aunt found out and got us help. My uncle is now in prison, and our family has no contact with my aunt. My father is in prison and my mom is dead. My sister and I now live with our aunt on the other side of our family. I struggle with trusting men. I actually hate men, all of them!"
Boy (9th grade): "My parents are divorced. It sucks...all my mom does is bad-mouth my dad and my dad just bad-mouths my mom. They don't even try."
Girl (10th grade): "My parents don't have any money. A lot of times, we don't even know where our next meal is going to come from. My dad can't even hold down a job. I guess that it's not all his fault though because he had some medical problems. My grandparents help out a lot but they can only do so much."
Girl (10th grade): "My dad just left mom for a younger girl. My sister and I caught him texting his girlfriend, and when he was sleeping, we stole his phone and showed my mom the texts. I don't get it. Why do men cheat? My mom cries a lot and now we live with my grandmother. I miss my dog the most. My dad won't let me bring my dog to my grandma's."
Boy (12th grade): "All I do is smoke weed. I love weed! My mom and dad know. They found out about four months ago. They were (angry) but I guess that they kind of got over it. My sister still gets me weed and we sometimes do it together. I don't think that it is bad. I just do it for fun and I don't feel that anyone is getting hurt from it. They actually say that weed is better for you than cigarettes. I don't know..."
These are the responses of kids in one small high school in another state, but it reflects life everywhere. We live in a world of hurting souls.
"Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience" (Colossians 3:12).
Boy (10th grade): "If I said that I have not looked at pornography, it would be a lie. My mom and dad have blockers on the Internet, but I know how to get around them. I wouldn't say that I'm addicted to porn; I just enjoy watching it when I am in the mood."
Girl (12th grade): "I am unsure of my sexuality. Sometimes I feel that I like guys and sometimes I feel that I like girls. I am attracted to both, and I just need to figure out which sex I like more."
Girl (9th grade): "My dad tells me every day that I am not pretty. He asks me why I can't be pretty like the other girls my age. He won't buy me any make-up because he says it won't help me look any better. He says it's a waste of money. I just want my father to like me."
Boy (12th grade): "My mom and I don't have any money. My dad is gone and my mom and I barely get by. We have had to move over 6 times in the past year, because we cannot pay our rent. It is very embarrassing for me because my friends are always asking me why I move."
Girl (10th grade): "I was raped over the summer two years ago and my dad didn't believe me. He said that I probably asked for it. To make matters worse, I became pregnant. Once my dad found out that the rape resulted in a pregnancy he just accused me of being promiscuous and told my family that I made up the rape story so that I wouldn't get in trouble. I had to change schools for a semester, and my father made me abort the baby."
Girl (10th grade): "I cut my thighs all the time. Every time that I feel pain or any time that I feel disappointment, I cut myself for punishment. I have been cutting myself ever since my mom and dad split up. I should have done more to keep them together. My dad is gone now and I never get to see him. It has been over three years since I have last seen him. I feel that my mom resents me but I don't know."
Girl (10th grade): "I have grown up in the church my whole life, and my dad is even a deacon in the church, but I hate church. I just go through the motions. I have to go to all the church functions and I have to put on my church face at school because everyone expects me to be that girl. Honestly, I have times where I can't stand God. I haven't prayed in over two years. I feel bad about it sometimes, but that is just how I feel right now. I'm tired of God being pushed on me from every direction."
Boy (12th grade): "I never feel that I am good enough. No matter what I do, I feel that I could do a better job. I want to succeed but feel that I can never please anyone. I just want to be successful, go to college, and follow in my sister's footsteps so that my folks will be happy with me."
Girl (12th grade): "My mom is a drug addict. My brother and I have to stay with my papa and meme sometimes. My mom never comes to any of my games and, when she is home, is just worried about getting her next fix. She can't hold down a job and is embarrassing. I put on my happy face at school, but really I want to just cry."
Girl (12th grade): "My uncle raped my sister and me when we were younger. We lived in Seattle and all of my other family lived here. We were raped over and over for a period of three years. Finally my aunt found out and got us help. My uncle is now in prison, and our family has no contact with my aunt. My father is in prison and my mom is dead. My sister and I now live with our aunt on the other side of our family. I struggle with trusting men. I actually hate men, all of them!"
Boy (9th grade): "My parents are divorced. It sucks...all my mom does is bad-mouth my dad and my dad just bad-mouths my mom. They don't even try."
Girl (10th grade): "My parents don't have any money. A lot of times, we don't even know where our next meal is going to come from. My dad can't even hold down a job. I guess that it's not all his fault though because he had some medical problems. My grandparents help out a lot but they can only do so much."
Girl (10th grade): "My dad just left mom for a younger girl. My sister and I caught him texting his girlfriend, and when he was sleeping, we stole his phone and showed my mom the texts. I don't get it. Why do men cheat? My mom cries a lot and now we live with my grandmother. I miss my dog the most. My dad won't let me bring my dog to my grandma's."
Boy (12th grade): "All I do is smoke weed. I love weed! My mom and dad know. They found out about four months ago. They were (angry) but I guess that they kind of got over it. My sister still gets me weed and we sometimes do it together. I don't think that it is bad. I just do it for fun and I don't feel that anyone is getting hurt from it. They actually say that weed is better for you than cigarettes. I don't know..."
These are the responses of kids in one small high school in another state, but it reflects life everywhere. We live in a world of hurting souls.
"Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience" (Colossians 3:12).
Friday, January 07, 2011
Making a Positive Impact
Sometimes Christians are best known for what we are against. We oppose same-sex marriage, abortion, and sexual immorality. We speak out against those sins; and that's absolutely appropriate. Those sins (among many others) are destroying us and the people we love. We can't remain silent. We care too much.
However, we cannot be satisfied with a purely negative approach when dealing with such issues. We need to be eager to do good in these areas.
How can we make a positive impact? We can...
*teach the biblical message about marriage, life, and sex.
*invite friends to marriage enrichment seminars.
*support a local crisis pregnancy resource center or adoption agency.
*mentor young husbands and fathers or wives and mothers.
*adopt a child.
*extend forgiveness and encouragement to those who have failed.
*let everyone know what Jesus Christ has done to take away our sins and to give us new lives.
The possibilities are nearly endless; and they have not been exhausted.
"And let our people learn to devote themselves to good works, so as to help cases of urgent need, and not be unfruitful" (Titus 3:14).
However, we cannot be satisfied with a purely negative approach when dealing with such issues. We need to be eager to do good in these areas.
How can we make a positive impact? We can...
*teach the biblical message about marriage, life, and sex.
*invite friends to marriage enrichment seminars.
*support a local crisis pregnancy resource center or adoption agency.
*mentor young husbands and fathers or wives and mothers.
*adopt a child.
*extend forgiveness and encouragement to those who have failed.
*let everyone know what Jesus Christ has done to take away our sins and to give us new lives.
The possibilities are nearly endless; and they have not been exhausted.
"And let our people learn to devote themselves to good works, so as to help cases of urgent need, and not be unfruitful" (Titus 3:14).
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Why Do You Want Me to be Surrounded by Poor People?
As we were preparing to go to our regular Tuesday evening prayer meeting tonight, our son Christopher asked me, "Why do you want me to be surrounded by poor people?"
In some ways, it struck me as an odd question. When did he discover that most of the people in our congregation were poor? He has been attending the Contact Church all of his life, but only recently has he mentioned the poverty of our members. How does he understand poverty? Has he noticed the condition of the apartment complexes that we visit? Does he remember the homeless man that we used to pick up and bring to church with us when he was younger? Have his friends at church mentioned the violence that they have witnessed and experienced? Has he noticed the prayer requests dealing with drug abuse, gang violence, and suicidal thoughts? Does he feel inferior to his friends at school because he worships with an urban ministry? Does he feel superior to his friends at church because he lives more of a middle class lifestyle?
I plan on exploring those questions with my son over the next few days, but I thought it would be good to answer his question about why we are raising our son in an urban ministry.
First, Janet and I want Christopher to be exposed to modern heroes of the faith. Many members of the Contact Church (including many poor members) are true heroes. They run to help people whom others would rather avoid. They are willing to cross the yellow tape of a crime scene in order to take the good news to people who need it. They will deal patiently with the struggling drunk or drug addict. They will comfort the victim of childhood sexual abuse. They will counsel a struggling couple to remain committed to each other. They will keep showing up for the woman with emotional problems. They will provide the food, clothing, and furniture needed by someone who is struggling financially. They will tell the hard truths of the gospel in a gracious manner to someone who would rather not hear them. They will encourage others to do good while quickly forgiving them for doing wrong. They do not give up. We want our son to see such men and women in action. We want him to admire their good qualities and to try to emulate them.
Second, we want our son to be exposed to the ugly side of sin. If he learns about alcohol, drugs, and sex outside of marriage from the media alone, he may never see the consequences of living outside of God's standards until it is too late. In urban ministry, he can see the consequences all the time. He can see how difficult it can be to be controlled by alcohol or drugs. He can hear the prayers of the men and women who cry out in despair. He can see some of the problems faced by our members who have not adhered to biblical sexual ethics, from emotional problems to single parenthood to incurable and deadly diseases. While he will see God's love and forgiveness extended, he will see how sin can take its toll on men and women even after they have been forgiven. We want our son to learn to see beyond the temptations of sin to see the consequences of sin.
I understand that risks are involved in our strategy. We could fail. But we could fail by avoiding the poor also.
I pray that we succeed. I want nothing more than to see my son become a genuine follower of Christ. I want to be able to echo the words of the apostle John someday: "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth" (3 John 4).
In some ways, it struck me as an odd question. When did he discover that most of the people in our congregation were poor? He has been attending the Contact Church all of his life, but only recently has he mentioned the poverty of our members. How does he understand poverty? Has he noticed the condition of the apartment complexes that we visit? Does he remember the homeless man that we used to pick up and bring to church with us when he was younger? Have his friends at church mentioned the violence that they have witnessed and experienced? Has he noticed the prayer requests dealing with drug abuse, gang violence, and suicidal thoughts? Does he feel inferior to his friends at school because he worships with an urban ministry? Does he feel superior to his friends at church because he lives more of a middle class lifestyle?
I plan on exploring those questions with my son over the next few days, but I thought it would be good to answer his question about why we are raising our son in an urban ministry.
First, Janet and I want Christopher to be exposed to modern heroes of the faith. Many members of the Contact Church (including many poor members) are true heroes. They run to help people whom others would rather avoid. They are willing to cross the yellow tape of a crime scene in order to take the good news to people who need it. They will deal patiently with the struggling drunk or drug addict. They will comfort the victim of childhood sexual abuse. They will counsel a struggling couple to remain committed to each other. They will keep showing up for the woman with emotional problems. They will provide the food, clothing, and furniture needed by someone who is struggling financially. They will tell the hard truths of the gospel in a gracious manner to someone who would rather not hear them. They will encourage others to do good while quickly forgiving them for doing wrong. They do not give up. We want our son to see such men and women in action. We want him to admire their good qualities and to try to emulate them.
Second, we want our son to be exposed to the ugly side of sin. If he learns about alcohol, drugs, and sex outside of marriage from the media alone, he may never see the consequences of living outside of God's standards until it is too late. In urban ministry, he can see the consequences all the time. He can see how difficult it can be to be controlled by alcohol or drugs. He can hear the prayers of the men and women who cry out in despair. He can see some of the problems faced by our members who have not adhered to biblical sexual ethics, from emotional problems to single parenthood to incurable and deadly diseases. While he will see God's love and forgiveness extended, he will see how sin can take its toll on men and women even after they have been forgiven. We want our son to learn to see beyond the temptations of sin to see the consequences of sin.
I understand that risks are involved in our strategy. We could fail. But we could fail by avoiding the poor also.
I pray that we succeed. I want nothing more than to see my son become a genuine follower of Christ. I want to be able to echo the words of the apostle John someday: "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth" (3 John 4).
Saturday, November 06, 2010
Thankful
Since it's the month of Thanksgiving, I'm listing a few blessings for which I'm thankful today. I've been thinking about how much God has changed my life in the last 20 years in ways that I would not have imagined...but in ways for which I'm deeply thankful.
I'm thankful for my great wife. Janet and I have been married for 17 years. She has been my greatest encourager. She has been my best friend. She has been a wonderful partner in the joys and pains of life. No one could ask for a better wife.
I'm thankful for my outstanding son. Christopher is my 7-year old son. Before we were married, Janet and I talked about our dreams of adopting a child someday. We did not know that Christopher would be our only child, but we could not have asked for a more enjoyable little boy. It has been one of the honors of my life that God has entrusted me with the responsibilities and blessings of being Christopher's father.
I'm thankful for being a part of the Contact Church. Janet and I have been participants in the Tulsa urban ministry for 10 years. Eight years ago, the Contact Church was formed as a result of the urban ministry. Many people dream of being able to be a part of a church that reaches the urban poor. We have been blessed to experience it. We have been able to be a part of something very special.
I'm thankful for opportunities to share my faith. Nearly every day, I am asked by a co-worker, a friend, or an acquaintance about my faith in Jesus Christ. That was not happening until recent years. I have never had such opportunities fall into my lap so frequently. I can see God moving in the lives of others in my life every day. Also, I could not have imagined 20 years ago the opportunities that God has given me to share my faith through the internet. In addition to being able to reconnect through Facebook with friends and classmates from 25 years ago, I've been able to share my faith on this blog with people on every continent (except Antarctica). (I've been blown away when I have seen some of the countries from which I've seen visitors to this blog--especially those from closed Communist and Islamic nations.) It's hard to believe that God has entrusted me with such opportunities.
God has been very, very good to me.
"Make a joyful noise to the LORD,
all the earth!
Serve the LORD with gladness!
Come into his presence with singing!
"Know that the LORD, he is God!
It is he who made us, and we are his;
we are his people, and the sheep of
his pasture.
"Enter his gates with thanksgiving,
and his courts with praise!
Give thanks to him; bless his name!
"For the LORD is good;
his steadfast love endures forever,
and his faithfulness to all generations" (Psalm 100).
I'm thankful for my great wife. Janet and I have been married for 17 years. She has been my greatest encourager. She has been my best friend. She has been a wonderful partner in the joys and pains of life. No one could ask for a better wife.
I'm thankful for my outstanding son. Christopher is my 7-year old son. Before we were married, Janet and I talked about our dreams of adopting a child someday. We did not know that Christopher would be our only child, but we could not have asked for a more enjoyable little boy. It has been one of the honors of my life that God has entrusted me with the responsibilities and blessings of being Christopher's father.
I'm thankful for being a part of the Contact Church. Janet and I have been participants in the Tulsa urban ministry for 10 years. Eight years ago, the Contact Church was formed as a result of the urban ministry. Many people dream of being able to be a part of a church that reaches the urban poor. We have been blessed to experience it. We have been able to be a part of something very special.
I'm thankful for opportunities to share my faith. Nearly every day, I am asked by a co-worker, a friend, or an acquaintance about my faith in Jesus Christ. That was not happening until recent years. I have never had such opportunities fall into my lap so frequently. I can see God moving in the lives of others in my life every day. Also, I could not have imagined 20 years ago the opportunities that God has given me to share my faith through the internet. In addition to being able to reconnect through Facebook with friends and classmates from 25 years ago, I've been able to share my faith on this blog with people on every continent (except Antarctica). (I've been blown away when I have seen some of the countries from which I've seen visitors to this blog--especially those from closed Communist and Islamic nations.) It's hard to believe that God has entrusted me with such opportunities.
God has been very, very good to me.
"Make a joyful noise to the LORD,
all the earth!
Serve the LORD with gladness!
Come into his presence with singing!
"Know that the LORD, he is God!
It is he who made us, and we are his;
we are his people, and the sheep of
his pasture.
"Enter his gates with thanksgiving,
and his courts with praise!
Give thanks to him; bless his name!
"For the LORD is good;
his steadfast love endures forever,
and his faithfulness to all generations" (Psalm 100).
Wednesday, October 06, 2010
Caring for Orphans
Churches across the nation will be observing Orphan Sunday on November 7, 2010. For more information, please visit www.orphansunday.org.
"Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world" (James 1:27).
Thursday, September 09, 2010
The Need to Mentor Boys in the Church
In this video, Darrin Patrick talks about the need to mentor boys so that they become mature Christian men. As I have mentioned before, I want to raise my son to have the qualities of a biblical elder. It's an overarching goal for the way I approach parenting my son. This video encourages me to keep the goal in mind.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
A Son's Love
The best way my son has ever said that he loves me: "Daddy, if you were a baby, I would adopt you."
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Who Does God Want to be Elders?
"This is why I left you in Crete, so that you might put what remained into order, and appoint elders in every town as I directed you--if anyone is above reproach, the husband of one wife, and his children are believers and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination. For an overseer, as God's steward, must be above reproach. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain, but hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined. He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it" (Titus 1:5-9).
God is looking for men who are above reproach to serve as overseers and pastors in his church. In other words, God insists that a leader in his churches be...
*the husband of one wife. He must be a man who is faithful to his wife. His relationship with his wife will be a model of how Christ loves his church.
*a father whose children are believers and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination. He must be one who can lead his children in the right way. (I have read commentaries that downplay this quality in a pastor; but as a father, I have some understanding of why God requires this now. Children do not grow up naturally to be faithful and decent human beings. Fathers need to work to ensure that this happens. Such experience is absolutely required for the work of an overseer.)
*a man who is not arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain. He cannot be one who thinks he knows everything. He cannot walk around with a chip on his shoulder, looking for an argument or a fight. He cannot allow drugs or alcohol to gain control over him. He cannot beat up his wife, his children, or others under his care. He cannot be a man who would cheat or steal or lie in order to get what he wants from another. Such characteristics will destroy a man and the church he is called to care for.
*a man who is hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined. He needs to be a friendly and generous man, a man who will share his time and his resources to benefit another. He must love the good things in life...things like honor, kindness, justice, and purity. He needs to be in control of his actions and reactions. He needs to be stable and reliable. He must be ethical...to the point that others would say that there is something different about him. His honesty should never be questioned by any rational person.
*a man who holds firm to the trustworthy word as taught by the apostles and prophets. He needs to be able to teach healthy doctrine that conforms with the will of God, doctrine that accurately conveys God's message for people within the church and beyond. He will need to be able to handle the word of God with enough expertise to defend it against those who would deny it or try to change it. (An elder may need to challenge a preacher with a doctorate in theology if that preacher is denying such fundamental teachings as the inerrancy of Scripture, the need for faith in Jesus Christ in order to be saved, or the omniscience of God. He needs to be prepared to recognize sound doctrine from unhealthy faith-destroying doctrine; and he needs to have the courage to defend the good and to challenge the bad...even when he must take on a popular false teacher within his congregation.)
Such elders will serve churches well.
God is looking for men who are above reproach to serve as overseers and pastors in his church. In other words, God insists that a leader in his churches be...
*the husband of one wife. He must be a man who is faithful to his wife. His relationship with his wife will be a model of how Christ loves his church.
*a father whose children are believers and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination. He must be one who can lead his children in the right way. (I have read commentaries that downplay this quality in a pastor; but as a father, I have some understanding of why God requires this now. Children do not grow up naturally to be faithful and decent human beings. Fathers need to work to ensure that this happens. Such experience is absolutely required for the work of an overseer.)
*a man who is not arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain. He cannot be one who thinks he knows everything. He cannot walk around with a chip on his shoulder, looking for an argument or a fight. He cannot allow drugs or alcohol to gain control over him. He cannot beat up his wife, his children, or others under his care. He cannot be a man who would cheat or steal or lie in order to get what he wants from another. Such characteristics will destroy a man and the church he is called to care for.
*a man who is hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined. He needs to be a friendly and generous man, a man who will share his time and his resources to benefit another. He must love the good things in life...things like honor, kindness, justice, and purity. He needs to be in control of his actions and reactions. He needs to be stable and reliable. He must be ethical...to the point that others would say that there is something different about him. His honesty should never be questioned by any rational person.
*a man who holds firm to the trustworthy word as taught by the apostles and prophets. He needs to be able to teach healthy doctrine that conforms with the will of God, doctrine that accurately conveys God's message for people within the church and beyond. He will need to be able to handle the word of God with enough expertise to defend it against those who would deny it or try to change it. (An elder may need to challenge a preacher with a doctorate in theology if that preacher is denying such fundamental teachings as the inerrancy of Scripture, the need for faith in Jesus Christ in order to be saved, or the omniscience of God. He needs to be prepared to recognize sound doctrine from unhealthy faith-destroying doctrine; and he needs to have the courage to defend the good and to challenge the bad...even when he must take on a popular false teacher within his congregation.)
Such elders will serve churches well.
Saturday, December 05, 2009
Losing a Son for the Benefit of Others
This is my communion meditation for tomorrow at the Contact Church.
A few years ago, Tony Dungy was coaching the Indianapolis Colts through another successful football season. Without warning, he received a call informing him that his oldest son Jamie had taken his life while attending college in Florida. Jamie Dungy's death shocked the family. Jamie had been a very good and compassionate young man, the type of son who would make any father proud.
After Jamie's death, Coach Dungy and his wife Lauren were uncertain about what to do. He wrote in Quiet Strength, "In an effort to bring some good out of this, I have tried to assist others...We began by donating Jamie's organs. Today two people can see, thanks to his corneas. A businessman wrote me after the funeral to tell me he's working less in order to spend more time with his son. A young girl wrote a letter to us, saying that although she's always attended church, she dedicated her life to Christ after watching our family at Jamie's homegoing service" (page 262).
In a radio interview a couple of years later, Coach Dungy told his interviewers about how the death of Jamie led to two people receiving their eye sight back, to families becoming closer, and to people coming to faith in Jesus Christ. But, he added, if the Lord had revealed to him that Jamie's death would have helped so many people in so many ways, he still would have asked the Lord to spare his son.
I thought about Tony Dungy's words while reading about the time when Joseph and Mary presented their baby Jesus at the temple for his circumcision. While at the temple, the small family came across a prophet named Simeon who immediately recognized their baby as the long-expected Messiah. After informing Mary that her Son would be a great man in Israel and would face strong opposition, he warned her, "(A)nd a sword will pierce through your own soul also" (Luke 2:35, English Standard Version).
The prophet Simeon foresaw the anguish in Mary's soul as she would watch her Son being executed on a Roman cross three decades into the future. Mary was cryptically warned that her Son would die for the benefit of others.
I'm not sure how much Mary understood the message, but I know that she suffered terribly as she watched her Son die for not only herself, but for people like us too.
Today, as we take part in the communion, we pause to appreciate the pain. Through the pain of the cross, we benefited. Mary lost a Son (for a few days) so that we could be saved forever.
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