A Woman's View of Husbands and Football

I received the following e-mail from Barbara Rainey of FamilyLife yesterday. Since it was an e-mail, I'm not sure whether it is on the web site, but you may find other good material at www.familylife.com.

"While watching some of the recent National Football League wild card and championship games with my husband, I asked him about some of the finer points of the game.

"I understand the basics of scoring and the role of key players like the quarterback, but how do they determine where field goals are kicked, how does the wild card system work, and what is the backfield, anyway? Last weekend during the AFC/NFC championship games I finally learned what the secondary is. He likes it that I'm asking questions. By the way, to Indy!

"Then I began pondering another question.

"What is the draw of football for men?

"When I asked him, my husband said it's the competition, the physicality, and the aggressiveness of the game. It sounded so brutal. Not at all what I expected him to say.

"Thinking further I understand what he meant and as a result I have a few more theories as to why men love football.

"Like the relentless pounding of surf on the beach, football keeps coming back. Every year. It's as predictable as seasonal changes. At the same time every year. It's something we can count on no matter what happens in the economy or who is living in the White House.

"I think the fact that the game has a myriad of rules is part of its appeal. Loyal followers know the rules, understand why the rules are there, and count on them being enforced fairly. The rules change very little from year to year which brings continuity to the game.

"When a foul is called, one team may feel it was unfair but within a matter of minutes or less, it is accepted and the game continues. No lawsuits in federal courts, no changing of the rules so the offending team gets off the hook, no recount of votes, and rarely any fights or scandalous accusations. The players understand the rules and play by the rules. Done.

"And because the rules are followed, the games finish in a reasonable time frame. And most importantly there is always a clear winner and loser. No one worries about the feelings of the losing team. It's what they signed up for and it's part of the game.

"Our men who love the sport love that sure outcome because most of life is not so clearly defined. Men today are confused about their roles as men. They are built to be competitive, to aggressively protect (not the quarterback, but their families and communities and country), but they live in a world so conscious of being offensive, so fearful of being sued that they are constantly worried that they will be held back. A holding penalty is when a player literally grabs an opponent and holds him so he can't do his job. And a lot of men today feel that way--they're being held back.

"To be sure, there are plenty of unsavory aspects to the game, but in balance the good outweighs the bad. In this confusing, shifting world of ours the predictable sport of football gives our men a respite--a place to watch men exercise their God-given aggressive, physical, and competitive natures with self-control under the watchful eye of a higher authority--the coaches and refs.

"They love watching men be men. It's a microcosm of what the world should be like.

"I think its why I like football, too."

Walking With the Wise

"He who walks with the wise grows wise,
but a companion of fools suffers harm" (Proverbs 13:20).

Since I would like to be wise, I try to learn from wise people. Here is a list of some wise authors and some of their books:

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Holiness: The Heart God Purifies

Tony Dungy: Quiet Strength, Uncommon

Bob Lepine: The Christian Husband

C.S. Lewis: Mere Christianity, The Screwtape Letters, The Great Divorce

John Piper: Desiring God, Don't Waste Your Life

Dennis and Barbara Rainey: The FamilyLife Marriage Bible (New King James Version), Two Hearts Praying as One, Moments Together for Couples

Haddon Robinson: Trusting the Shepherd, Decision Making by the Book

Harold Shank: Children Mean the World to God, Up Close and Personal: Embracing the Poor

Why Sex Is So Important

"May your fountain be blessed,
and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
A loving doe, a graceful deer--
may her breasts satisfy you always,
may you ever be captivated by her love" (Proverbs 5:18-19).

The FamilyLife Culture Watch blog has posted two good articles about the importance of sex.

"Why Sex Is So Important to Your Husband" by Barbara Rainey is available at www.familylifeculturewatch.com/2009/02/why-sex-is-so-important-to-your-husband.html.

"Why Sex Is So Important to Your Wife" by Dennis Rainey is available at www.familylifeculturewatch.com/2009/02/why-sex-is-so-important-to-your-wife.html.

In addition, FamilyLife's A Weekend to Remember marriage conference will be in Tulsa on March 20-22. It's a great conference. It will also take place in different cities around the country this spring. More information may be obtained at www.familylifeweekend.com.

Life-Changing Books

"Of making many books there is no end" (Ecclesiastes 12:12).

Several good books have influenced me over the years. Here are a few:

Life Application Study Bible (NIV)
A couple of years ago, I was on sick leave from my job, recovering from surgery, when a co-worker called. Paula explained to me that she wanted to buy a Bible for her mother who had never read more than a few verses from a Bible in her life. She needed a recommendation. I recommended the Life Application Study Bible, because of its excellent introductions to the books of the Bible as well as its study notes. A newcomer to the Bible needs a little direction, because it can be difficult to figure out how a book or passage relates to the overall message. This Bible helps tremendously. Although it's available in many good translations, I recommended the New International Version because it is both very accurate and very readable. It was the first version I read that I could understand.

Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper
This book challenged me to focus on honoring Jesus Christ in every area of my life because of what he has done for me. Its intent is on pulling us away from selfish, petty, and trivial pursuits to pursuing the glory of God.

Wisdom Hunter by Randall Arthur
This is a novel about an arrogant, dictatorial, and self-righteous pastor who is shaken to his core when his estranged daughter dies suddenly in an accident and his neglected wife dies soon afterward of a broken heart. As the man searches for the granddaughter he has never seen, he starts a journey from legalism to skepticism to real Christianity. Even though it's a novel, Wisdom Hunter is filled with truth and reality.

Rekindling the Romance by Dennis and Barbara Rainey
This book contains great insight into men and women. We bought it at FamilyLife's A Weekend to Remember marriage conference last year. I highly recommend the radio program FamilyLife Today, the marriage conferences, and any book (including this one) by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. You will learn much about your spouse from this book.

Up Close and Personal: Embracing the Poor by Harold Shank, Anthony Wood, and Ron Bergeron
This book inspired me to become involved in urban ministry. It will help any reader in understanding the culture of poverty, the effects of racism, the need for friendship in the midst of poverty, and how to help people come to faith in Jesus Christ. It contains good practical advice about how to help people in need.

Children Mean the World to God by Harold Shank
This book is surprising because of the depth of the theology. I did not expect a book about children to be a book about God and his character. I read Children Mean the World to God in the middle of the adoption process for our son. It gave me the encouragement I needed when the days were dark and I could not see the dawn coming. It will inspire any Christian parent, Bible class teacher, or lover of children to keep making the effort to show love to the children of the world for God's sake.

The Measure of a Man by Gene Getz
This book encourages all Christian men to aspire to the qualities of an elder as described in 1 Timothy and Titus. Whether a man ever becomes an elder is irrelevant; a Christian man needs to make it a goal to grow in the virtues described within this book.

No More Jellyfish, Chickens, or Wimps by Paul Coughlin
This is a parenting book like no other. It deals with instilling children with courage, security, and assertiveness. In addition, it helps parents and children deal with predators and bullies. Its goal is not to produce nice and compliant kids, but rather good and brave children.

Do you have any books that have made a positive impact on your life? Please share information about them in the comments section. Thanks for reading!