I Found a Savior (Part Two)

This is the continuation of a Contact Church member's testimony. Part One may be read at http://adisciplesthoughts.blogspot.com/2009/11/i-found-savior-part-one.html.

"Our family moved to Texas. On September 16, 1996 I was taken from the complex laundry mat to a storage room on the back side and sexually assaulted. I remember laying there crying and begging God to save me. Men had continued to do whatever to my body and I never had a say. Not even the all-powerful God would save me. Part of me wished he had killed me and put me out of my misery. When he took my wedding ring and my husband's class rings off my fingers that night it hurt me more than anything else. Waking Russell up to tell him what happened was hard as I had already cheated and hadn't even gotten through the pregnancy; I was eight months pregnant. Russell eventually left for another woman which only reinforced all the lies--that I was unlovable, worthless, and not good enough. I was left with myself, 2 kids, and a bunch of drug addicts and alcoholics who I sure fought hard to not be like, but I resigned and figured that's exactly what I deserved. I would spend the next 10 years with a man who did every drug known to man. He was an IV drug user and an alcoholic who very much did not value women. He introduced me to a behind the scenes look at the drug world. I was at a place where I really welcomed death, in fact half the time I prayed for death. Well when that plan failed I began provoking anger in Bill___--maybe he would put me out of my misery. Bill and I would spend a lot of time arguing, fist fighting, drinking, drugging up until I got busted in February 2000. Then I would clean up, however, he would not. I began to realize that God was with me the night I was raped and that I was alive and God was working in my heart. After I cleaned up I became pregnant with my first girl. This spoke to me in awesome ways because I believed God would not give me little girls because I wouldn't be good enough, after 3 boys that was very easy for me to believe. There was this calm inner voice that kept saying leave this man and a much louder one saying no he might die without you. I wanted to leave all the time but I was terrified of being alone. I needed him to protect me. I would not cook, wouldn't clean, wouldn't try, just argue, scream, fight, and rage. Then I began rocking, abusing crack cocaine and neglecting my children. I was completely bankrupt. Imagine this, there I am on the floor searching for a crumb of crack to smoke and my 5 year old daughter bends down and says, 'Is this one momma?' I began to cry and she said, 'Momma I want you and daddy to stop fighting, stop cussing, stop smoking cigarettes and stop searching for white rocks.' I would soon discover the thing I feared the most--those precious girls that I just knew God would not give me had been molested. I was very calm and made a phone call to DHS. The judge ordered the children to remain in custody. I begged for Family Drug Court which required rehab, counseling, accountability, and responsibility. You would think that the reality of children being gone, what happened to them, and the court stuff pending would have been enough for me to get clean but it was not. Bill, myself, and my sister all shared an efficiency apartment where I helped my little sister off of her program through DUI school and strung her out on crack too! I later beat up my sister and she called the cops and the landlord."

To be continued.

I Found a Savior (Part One)

I wrote a very condensed version of a Contact Church member's story on my blog last month. This time, I will let her tell her story in her own words. She wrote this for Ron and Judy Babbit's newsletter to supporters of their ministry with the Contact Church.

"I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, incest, rape, physical and emotional abuse. I am overcoming chemical addiction, alcoholism, co-dependency, and sexual immorality. I still struggle with control, anger, un-forgiveness, fear, and feelings of inadequacy. It is a blessing for me to be a light of God's grace, glory, forgiveness, and unfailing love, and how it has been demonstrated in my life.

"I was born in Tulsa, Oklahoma. My childhood was chaotic at best. Very little consistency ever, well actually there was some. I knew there would be drinking, fighting, drugs, and yelling. Around age 8 or 9, myself and other family members were molested by a live-in babysitter who was a 28 year old male. After all the fighting and everything else in our home, it changed a lot of things. I began withdrawing and isolating myself. I went from a straight A student to a straight F student. I felt so dirty, angry, ugly, unlovable, and ignored. Couldn't my mom see, didn't she know, did she even care, and how selfish was it of me to feel that way when she was the one being beat up everyday. How could I even tell her? Nevertheless, these feelings went on for a while until one day my mom demanded to know the truth. With a lot of resistance I finally told her.

"Shortly after that my dad showed up. I needed my dad to love, approve, and protect me. When my dad began putting me in his bed I began having what I call emotional blackouts. It stopped with me and began with my sister. When she told me I called the police and had us removed. My sister and I were taken to a Tulsa shelter for children and then to DHS where my mom and dad would both exit the elevator and dad walked out of our lives. I began lying to myself about what my dad did to me. You see when I called the police I told my sister's truth not mine. I wanted my dad to be anything other than what he was or actually what his sin had made him. I still love him very much and accept all the things that have brought me right here today and made me into the woman God called me to be.

"My mom kept me for a little while longer and then gave me a choice to go live with my grandparents or she would separate all 5 of us into foster homes. Now my own mom was giving up on me. I was delivered to my grandparents. My grandpa began touching me in ways that made my skin crawl and I remember the alcohol on his breath. I began to despise the smell of alcohol especially after a 3 day drunk.

"I began seeking attention by kissing and touching, after all I could control that part or so I thought. I began trying to find love in sexual relationships. I tried to build a marriage on sexual relationship, in fact 2 marriages on sexual relationships. My first marriage took a turn for the worst when he joined the army. I felt abandoned and I didn't know how to be alone and unprotected. I cheated, got pregnant and was faced with what I had done almost immediately. I believe God had convicted me. Consumed with guilt and the fact that I couldn't hide what I had done, I called Russell and told him. While Marvin Phillips had baptized me 7 or 8 years earlier at Garnett Church of Christ, I still had doubts about his love for me. But God was working out my salvation and still is."

To be continued.

Some Secrets Can't Be Kept

Matt Hurley is one of our ministers in the Contact Church. Among his duties, he coordinates activities for youth groups from other congregations that come to help us in the urban ministry. Last night, he told us about the efforts of one youth group from a small town.

The group had been coming to Tulsa for a few years, and Matt felt that the members were ready for something new and challenging. He approached the leader and told him that he felt the group was ready to minister in one of the apartment complexes with a fairly bad reputation. He assured the leader that it would be safe. In response, the leader said, "Okay, but don't let the other parents know about its reputation. They will freak out." Matt agreed to keep it silent.

The next day, Matt addressed the youth group. Several of the Contact Church's kids were intermingled with the other church's youth group. Matt announced, "Today, we're going to Mohawk." Suddenly the Contact kids erupted with: "WE'RE GOING TO GET SHOT! WE'RE GOING TO DIE!"

So much for keeping secrets.

One Way to Support Adoption

You may not be in a position to adopt, but you would like to help Christian families who are preparing to adopt a child. One way to help would be to send a little (or a lot of) money to a Christian adoption agency. If that option appeals to you, please consider Christian Services of Oklahoma. You may find out more about this ministry by going to www.christian-adoption.org. You may call the ministry at 1-888-397-7202. You may contact them by writing to:

Christian Services of Oklahoma

501 E. 15th St. Suite 500A

Edmond, OK 73013

Thanks for considering this opportunity to help Christian families through the adoption process.

The Family Man and Me

Last week, I was involved in a conversation with a few co-workers concerning our favorite movies. After mentioning The Family Man, one of my friends said, "You've mentioned that movie before. You must really identify with it."

I don't want to get carried away with her analysis. After all, I'm afraid that she may realize that I identify with Dumb and Dumber, too.

However, I think my co-worker may have been right about why I like the movie.

In the movie, Jack Campbell is a very successful businessman who believes that he has everything he could possibly want in the world. However, an encounter with an angel reveals to Jack that he may not be living the best life possible. Instead of a powerful businessman-playboy, Jack wakes up one Christmas morning as a confused family man with a modest job. Over a period of a few months, he learns that wealth and power cannot replace a loving wife and children (and a few good friends). Success cannot be defined by accomplishments alone; relationships are an essential ingredient to a satisfying life. When he wakes up from his fantasy, he pursues a renewed relationship with his old college girlfriend whom he dumped in order to gain his enviable position in society.

Like Jack in his fantasy world, I am not in a position of great wealth and influence. However, I have a loving wife and son. I have some really good friends. And they make a huge difference in the way I view life. I am a rich man.

"He who finds a wife finds what is good

and receives favor from the LORD" (Proverbs 18:22).

"Sons are a heritage from the LORD,

children a reward from him" (Psalm 127:3).

An Adoption Story

World Magazine contains a great story about the adoption of Michael Oher of the Baltimore Ravens (www.worldmag.com/articles/16080).


Because of his adoption, Michael Oher moved from begging for food on the streets of Memphis as a teenager to a potential rookie of the year in the National Football League. His story challenges conventional wisdom about the potential of inner-city kids, the willingness of wealthy people to get involved personally in the lives of the poor, and the potential of adopting older children.

It's an inspiring true story of love and kindness.

The Ministry of a Lifetime

Some ministries last a short time. Some ministries last a long time. The ministry of adoption lasts a lifetime.

Actually, more than one ministry may be involved in adoption.

Adoption may be an international ministry. If you adopt a child from another country, you are engaged in an international ministry.

Adoption may be a pro-life ministry. By adopting a child, you are challenging the cavalier attitude toward the value of a child's life.

Adoption may be a ministry to the disabled. If you adopt a child with disabilities, you are engaged in a ministry to someone with special needs.

Adoption may be a family ministry. By adopting a child, you create a family ministry.

Adoption may be a preaching ministry. When you adopt a child, you will have many opportunities to preach to him or her. (Trust me.)

Adoption may be a ministry to the poor. In many cases, an adopted child will be saved from a life of poverty. In Tulsa, one-third of children in foster care will be homeless when they leave the system (unless they are adopted).

Adoption may be an evangelistic ministry. When you adopt a child, you will be able to share the good news of Christ with him or her (possibly for the first time in the child's life).

Of course, adoption is much more than a ministry. But it is not less. In some manner, you will serve the child that you love for a lifetime.

November is National Adoption Month in the USA. If you are a Christian, please consider adopting a child. In doing so, you will be doing something close to God's heart. "Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation" (Psalm 68:5, English Standard Version).