Conservative, Liberal or Christian?

Evangelical Christian author Randy Alcorn says,

"I get tired of being told I have to choose between conservatism’s emphasis on truth and liberalism’s emphasis on compassion. Why can’t we oppose injustice to minorities and to the unborn? Why can’t we embrace biblical stewardship of creation and the primacy of human beings over the rest of creation? Why can’t we oppose the greedy destruction of the environment by some businesses and the anti-industry excesses of New Age environmentalism?

"Why can’t we affirm the biblical right to the ownership of property (along with the command “thou shalt not steal”) and emphasize God’s call to his people to voluntarily and sacrificially share their wealth with the truly needy?

"Why can’t we uphold the truth of God’s condemnation of sexual immorality—including homosexual practices—and reach out in love and compassion to those imprisoned in this degrading lifestyle, as well as those dying from AIDS?"

Please read his thoughtful article on this topic at the link below:

Conservative, Liberal or Christian? - Resources - Eternal Perspective Ministries

A World of Hurting Souls

Recently, our preacher, Ron Babbit, sent a question to one of his friends in another state who teaches high school students. He asked the teacher to pose this question to his students: "What is the most difficult thing you have had to deal with growing up?" These are the responses from those students:

Boy (10th grade): "If I said that I have not looked at pornography, it would be a lie. My mom and dad have blockers on the Internet, but I know how to get around them. I wouldn't say that I'm addicted to porn; I just enjoy watching it when I am in the mood."

Girl (12th grade): "I am unsure of my sexuality. Sometimes I feel that I like guys and sometimes I feel that I like girls. I am attracted to both, and I just need to figure out which sex I like more."

Girl (9th grade): "My dad tells me every day that I am not pretty. He asks me why I can't be pretty like the other girls my age. He won't buy me any make-up because he says it won't help me look any better. He says it's a waste of money. I just want my father to like me."

Boy (12th grade): "My mom and I don't have any money. My dad is gone and my mom and I barely get by. We have had to move over 6 times in the past year, because we cannot pay our rent. It is very embarrassing for me because my friends are always asking me why I move."

Girl (10th grade): "I was raped over the summer two years ago and my dad didn't believe me. He said that I probably asked for it. To make matters worse, I became pregnant. Once my dad found out that the rape resulted in a pregnancy he just accused me of being promiscuous and told my family that I made up the rape story so that I wouldn't get in trouble. I had to change schools for a semester, and my father made me abort the baby."

Girl (10th grade): "I cut my thighs all the time. Every time that I feel pain or any time that I feel disappointment, I cut myself for punishment. I have been cutting myself ever since my mom and dad split up. I should have done more to keep them together. My dad is gone now and I never get to see him. It has been over three years since I have last seen him. I feel that my mom resents me but I don't know."

Girl (10th grade): "I have grown up in the church my whole life, and my dad is even a deacon in the church, but I hate church. I just go through the motions. I have to go to all the church functions and I have to put on my church face at school because everyone expects me to be that girl. Honestly, I have times where I can't stand God. I haven't prayed in over two years. I feel bad about it sometimes, but that is just how I feel right now. I'm tired of God being pushed on me from every direction."

Boy (12th grade): "I never feel that I am good enough. No matter what I do, I feel that I could do a better job. I want to succeed but feel that I can never please anyone. I just want to be successful, go to college, and follow in my sister's footsteps so that my folks will be happy with me."

Girl (12th grade): "My mom is a drug addict. My brother and I have to stay with my papa and meme sometimes. My mom never comes to any of my games and, when she is home, is just worried about getting her next fix. She can't hold down a job and is embarrassing. I put on my happy face at school, but really I want to just cry."

Girl (12th grade): "My uncle raped my sister and me when we were younger. We lived in Seattle and all of my other family lived here. We were raped over and over for a period of three years. Finally my aunt found out and got us help. My uncle is now in prison, and our family has no contact with my aunt. My father is in prison and my mom is dead. My sister and I now live with our aunt on the other side of our family. I struggle with trusting men. I actually hate men, all of them!"

Boy (9th grade): "My parents are divorced. It sucks...all my mom does is bad-mouth my dad and my dad just bad-mouths my mom. They don't even try."

Girl (10th grade): "My parents don't have any money. A lot of times, we don't even know where our next meal is going to come from. My dad can't even hold down a job. I guess that it's not all his fault though because he had some medical problems. My grandparents help out a lot but they can only do so much."

Girl (10th grade): "My dad just left mom for a younger girl. My sister and I caught him texting his girlfriend, and when he was sleeping, we stole his phone and showed my mom the texts. I don't get it. Why do men cheat? My mom cries a lot and now we live with my grandmother. I miss my dog the most. My dad won't let me bring my dog to my grandma's."

Boy (12th grade): "All I do is smoke weed. I love weed! My mom and dad know. They found out about four months ago. They were (angry) but I guess that they kind of got over it. My sister still gets me weed and we sometimes do it together. I don't think that it is bad. I just do it for fun and I don't feel that anyone is getting hurt from it. They actually say that weed is better for you than cigarettes. I don't know..."

These are the responses of kids in one small high school in another state, but it reflects life everywhere. We live in a world of hurting souls.

"Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience" (Colossians 3:12).

Making a Positive Impact

Sometimes Christians are best known for what we are against. We oppose same-sex marriage, abortion, and sexual immorality. We speak out against those sins; and that's absolutely appropriate. Those sins (among many others) are destroying us and the people we love. We can't remain silent. We care too much.

However, we cannot be satisfied with a purely negative approach when dealing with such issues. We need to be eager to do good in these areas.

How can we make a positive impact? We can...

*teach the biblical message about marriage, life, and sex.
*invite friends to marriage enrichment seminars.
*support a local crisis pregnancy resource center or adoption agency.
*mentor young husbands and fathers or wives and mothers.
*adopt a child.
*extend forgiveness and encouragement to those who have failed.
*let everyone know what Jesus Christ has done to take away our sins and to give us new lives.

The possibilities are nearly endless; and they have not been exhausted.

"And let our people learn to devote themselves to good works, so as to help cases of urgent need, and not be unfruitful" (Titus 3:14).

Why Do You Want Me to be Surrounded by Poor People?

As we were preparing to go to our regular Tuesday evening prayer meeting tonight, our son Christopher asked me, "Why do you want me to be surrounded by poor people?"

In some ways, it struck me as an odd question. When did he discover that most of the people in our congregation were poor? He has been attending the Contact Church all of his life, but only recently has he mentioned the poverty of our members. How does he understand poverty? Has he noticed the condition of the apartment complexes that we visit? Does he remember the homeless man that we used to pick up and bring to church with us when he was younger? Have his friends at church mentioned the violence that they have witnessed and experienced? Has he noticed the prayer requests dealing with drug abuse, gang violence, and suicidal thoughts? Does he feel inferior to his friends at school because he worships with an urban ministry? Does he feel superior to his friends at church because he lives more of a middle class lifestyle?

I plan on exploring those questions with my son over the next few days, but I thought it would be good to answer his question about why we are raising our son in an urban ministry.

First, Janet and I want Christopher to be exposed to modern heroes of the faith. Many members of the Contact Church (including many poor members) are true heroes. They run to help people whom others would rather avoid. They are willing to cross the yellow tape of a crime scene in order to take the good news to people who need it. They will deal patiently with the struggling drunk or drug addict. They will comfort the victim of childhood sexual abuse. They will counsel a struggling couple to remain committed to each other. They will keep showing up for the woman with emotional problems. They will provide the food, clothing, and furniture needed by someone who is struggling financially. They will tell the hard truths of the gospel in a gracious manner to someone who would rather not hear them. They will encourage others to do good while quickly forgiving them for doing wrong. They do not give up. We want our son to see such men and women in action. We want him to admire their good qualities and to try to emulate them.

Second, we want our son to be exposed to the ugly side of sin. If he learns about alcohol, drugs, and sex outside of marriage from the media alone, he may never see the consequences of living outside of God's standards until it is too late. In urban ministry, he can see the consequences all the time. He can see how difficult it can be to be controlled by alcohol or drugs. He can hear the prayers of the men and women who cry out in despair. He can see some of the problems faced by our members who have not adhered to biblical sexual ethics, from emotional problems to single parenthood to incurable and deadly diseases. While he will see God's love and forgiveness extended, he will see how sin can take its toll on men and women even after they have been forgiven. We want our son to learn to see beyond the temptations of sin to see the consequences of sin.

I understand that risks are involved in our strategy. We could fail. But we could fail by avoiding the poor also.

I pray that we succeed. I want nothing more than to see my son become a genuine follower of Christ. I want to be able to echo the words of the apostle John someday: "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth" (3 John 4).

Lessons in Urban Ministry

I've been involved in an urban ministry for approximately 10 years now. As I've been thinking about the last decade, I've been thinking about how naive I was when my wife and I first volunteered. Although I continue to have much to learn, I thought it would be a good time to write down a few of the lessons I've learned over the last several years. These are personal observations. They may or may not reflect the findings of social scientists or the views of others with experience in urban ministry.

1. Serve the children for their sake, not in order to reach their parents. Most children will come to the church's activities and worship assemblies without their parents. They will be attracted to a safe and fun environment in which they are supervised and guided by caring adults. They will be open to biblical teaching that can serve as the foundation for lives devoted to following Christ. They deserve attention simply because they bear the image of God, not because they can be used to lure their parents to the church.

2. Teaching a man to fish is not enough. Years ago, poverty-fighting ministries discovered that providing the necessities of life to the poor accomplished little long-term good. Such aid is always necessary, especially for children and the mentally and physically disabled; but those ministries discovered that they needed to connect the poor with jobs if they ever hoped to enable them to overcome poverty.

In many cases, however, the lack of employment and necessities of life are not the causes of poverty. They are the results. More often, poverty finds its roots in:

1. Drug and alcohol abuse. Addicts can have a hard time finding and maintaining employment. Many companies require drug tests before hiring a new employee. No company can afford to keep an employee forever who fails to do an adequate job because of drunkenness and drug-induced highs.

2. Family disintegration. Fornication, adultery, and divorce lead to multiple children born to young mothers who cannot support them. Fathers--and sometimes mothers--abandon their roles and responsibilities. Familial violence, physical abuse, and sexual abuse can scar a child for life. He or she will grow up without developing healthy social and coping skills. Anger and other negative emotions can control this individual, making it difficult for him or her to get along with others. He or she will have a hard time submitting to the authority of an employer, making steady employment an elusive goal. Even worse, he or she is likely to pass down these same problems to the next generation.

Urban ministries can do a great deal of preventative good by teaching the importance of self-control and sexual integrity.

3. Friendships are crucial. Broken people cannot simply be told to get their lives together. Like every one of us, they need the emotional support and encouragement of good friends as they make positive changes and learn to follow Christ. We need to be patient with each other. We need to challenge each other. We need to enjoy time with each other. We need our Bible studies and prayer meetings. We need to be able to confess our sins and to seek help from each other. Good friends give us the support we need to become what we were intended to be.

4. Good theology is essential. An accurate view of God, oneself, and others goes a long way in prompting us to make good choices. We need to see God as omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent, holy, just, merciful, and sovereign. We need to see ourselves as flawed and in need of God's grace. We need to respect the completely justified wrath of God and the completely gracious gift of salvation through Jesus Christ's death and resurrection. We must recognize that we are in over our heads in a mess of sins--our own sins and the sins of those around us. We can't really make any progress of any lasting value without faith in the God worthy of our trust.

Why Did God Command the Complete Destruction of Some Nations?

Last week, a co-worker was reading Deuteronomy 20. He came to me with an important question: Why did God command the Israelites to completely destroy some nations?

This is my attempt to deal with this difficult question. (And I acknowledge that my response may not be completely adequate, but at this time, it's my best response.)

As the text states, the Israelites were commanded to completely destroy some nations as they were entering the Promised Land so that "they may not teach you to do according to all their abominable practices that they have done for their gods, and so you sin against the LORD your God" (Deuteronomy 20:18). Leviticus 18 describes the total corruption of these societies. They tolerated and practiced incest, fornication, adultery, homosexuality, bestiality, and child sacrifice in service to their false gods. Evil was celebrated. Selfishness, brutality, and narcissism ruled the land.

"(W)hen God directed the Children of Israel to go in and conquer the Promised Land, He told them to destroy the peoples who lived there. This command was necessary because of the vileness of the pagan religions practiced in that good land. The most brutal worship of all was that demanded by Moloch. This cruel demon was represented by an iron idol with hollow belly and with both arms bent in front in a cradling position. A fire was built in the hollow belly, and each mother was required to sacrifice her first-born by placing him in the idol's arms to be burned alive. During this horrible ceremony, the priests and priestesses of Moloch beat drums which reached a deafening crescendo as the mother laid her baby in the idol's arms. The purpose, of course, was to keep the mother from hearing her baby's screams" (Drums of Moloch, Herbert C. Casteel, pp. 94-95).

Two factors made matters worse for the inhabitants of the Promised Land: 1. They had a knowledge of their sins and of the true God who expected better from them. 2. They had been given centuries to repent.

Like all people, they had a basic understanding of right and wrong. However, they chose to "suppress the truth" (Romans 1:18). "Though they know God's decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them" (Romans 1:32).

Although easy to overlook, we should also recognize that the pagan nations were well aware of the Lord's judgment long before destruction came upon them. In fact, Balaam was an internationally-known prophet of the Lord from a pagan land (Numbers 22). The true God was known in lands far away from the Israelites; and they did not have exclusive access to his prophets. Furthermore, as Rahab the pagan prostitute testified before her city was destroyed, "I know that the LORD has given you the land, and that the fear of you has fallen upon us, and that all the inhabitants of the land melt away before you. For we have heard how the LORD dried up the water of the Red Sea before you when you came out of Egypt..." (Joshua 2:9-10). For at least 40 years, the people of Jericho knew that their judgment day was coming, but they expressed no interest in changing their ways as the people of Ninevah would several centuries later (Jonah 3:6-10).

In addition, it should be noted that the nations inhabiting the Promised Land were given 400 years to repent (Genesis 15:16; Deuteronomy 9:5). Their destruction came fairly quickly, but it was only after God had waited patiently for centuries for them to change their hearts.

Also, different rules of warfare existed against the nations within the Promised Land than against the nations outside those boundaries. The nations within the Promised Land faced total destruction (Deuteronomy 20:16-18). They were facing the judgment of God. More conventional standards of warfare applied to enemy nations outside the Promised Land (Deuteronomy 20:10-15).

Finally, it should be noted that God's grace was extended to individuals even as their societies faced total annihilation. The prostitute Rahab and her family found grace. They were spared from God's judgment because they placed their faith in God and followed the instructions that they were given (Joshua 2-3).

Was Jesus Silent About Homosexuality?

In recent years, I have read this argument from those who urge followers of Christ to accept homosexuality: Since Jesus was silent about homosexuality, Christians should recognize it as being acceptable to God.

While it's true that the Scriptures never quote Jesus using the term "homosexuality," it's not exactly true that he did not address the topic.

Jesus affirmed the view that sexuality is properly expressed only between a man and a woman who are married to each other. In answering a question about divorce, he took his listeners back to the original purpose of marriage. "He answered, 'Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh?" (Matthew 19:4-5). Marriage was designed so that a man and a woman would become "one flesh." They would become intimate.

Apart from a marriage between a man and a woman, Jesus referred to all other expressions of sexuality as "sexual immorality" (see Matthew 5:32 and 15:19).

Jesus never deviated from that standard. In fact, he raised it. He prohibited even the intent behind sexual sin. He taught, "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:27-28).

However, it should be pointed out that Christ died for those of us who have failed to live up to his standards...and that includes all of us. He has always welcomed everyone who has been changed by the message of his death and resurrection into his church. He has been forgiving our sins and changing our lives since the earliest years of the church. "Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God" (1 Corinthians 6:9-11).

Jesus condemned homosexuality along with all other forms of sexual immorality. But he also died in the place of the sexual sinner. Christ wants to free him or her from the guilt of the past.

A Potential Leader in the Kingdom

This is a portion of our minister Ron Babbit's February newsletter:

"Every time I show up in the hood, I wonder, 'Where is the family that once lived there? Whatever happened to those kids?' Recently, we had two moving crews on the road to assist a couple of families. Big O took Muscles with him to make a run and I recruited Big Mac, Arler, Trey-bone, and Fox. (I pay big bucks.) This move was in a drizzling rain. We had a trailer and my truck; and Big Mac was driving a minivan. When we showed up, the lady being moved was with her two daughters and their hairy-legged friends. One couple is getting married this spring; the other couple is shacking together. GOD provided a great opportunity for all the moving team. Let me share how GOD was at work.

"One of the clowns, the dude who is shacking with his honey, I met eight years ago on an outside basketball court where he was the 'Cool Dude On Campus' (CDOC). At that time, I told the girls to stay away from that clown. I would always recruit a girl to be on my team, and we would go against the CDOC. This CDOC was a wannabe. He wasn't willing to pay the price to play the great game of basketball at school because he was a CDOC. He has the same struggles that most of us have, that is, not willing to die to self and make the commitment to serve HIM. Every time I would see CDOC, I would throw him candy and a soda to break down the barriers that Satan had built in his bones. I started noticing that CDOC wasn't present in the complex and soon found out that he was in prison. I tried to get an address to write to him, but wasn't successful.

"When we showed up to move this family, the CDOC hoss wanted a ride to go help us move. Amen, church! I loved picking up the CDOC and his honey. Guess what? I witnessed a different attitude. He was very friendly and seemed to be changed. Yes, he is hanging with hooch in his pocket, smoking whatever gets him higher, but GOD is more powerful. Amen, church! I asked him about his brother. He, too, was living with a gal.

"GOD started building this friendship/relationship years ago, and now is the time to step in to share the saving message of HIS love. Please stay in prayer with me as we read, listen, and pray with him. This CDOC is a leader; my prayer is that he becomes a leader in the Kingdom."

I Found a Savior (Part Four)

This is the conclusion of a Contact Church member's testimony. Previous posts may be read at:

(Part One) http://adisciplesthoughts.blogspot.com/2009/11/i-found-savior-part-one.html
(Part Two) http://adisciplesthoughts.blogspot.com/2009/11/i-found-savior-part-two.html
(Part Three) http://adisciplesthoughts.blogspot.com/2009/11/i-found-savior-part-three.html

"I began saying thank you Jesus for giving my children back and I prayed to God about a place to live. I went to Tulsa Housing and I had been approved a year prior for an apartment. I had spent all that time homeless and didn't know I didn't need to be. The day I showed up to sign my lease the apartment had not been released in the computer, so the lady said she could not do anything until they released it from downtown. While I waited for about an hour I talked to her about needed furniture. She said they had a church that was sometimes able to help with beds and stuff. After a while this white truck pulled up and she said, 'Hey that's the guy you want to talk to, he's from Contact Church.' I said, 'What? Really? I know him!' I ran out to the truck and it was Ron Babbit. I told him how I had been here, how God had helped me, how I was getting my children back, how Bill was out of the picture and how God had convicted me for not teaching my children--all the struggles and victories. He said he was glad for me and that I should come to see them down at the church. I was glad to do that anyway. Contact helped me move furniture into my empty apartment. I am so thankful to my Father in heaven and for Contact Church of Christ. I attended church whenever the doors were open. Praise God they were always there. I've been blessed with opportunities to share what Christ has done for me, those things I could not do for myself. Through this relationship with Christ, God has provided for very specific, unmet needs from my childhood. Through Ron Babbit, God has provided a father figure here on earth for me. Today I desire to know Him more, to enjoy the people he has created. I am so thankful to have friendships today with both men and women. Some relationships at this point in my life have completely changed the way I view men. Men like Joel Osborn and Randy Milam who have listened even when it wasn't easy, men who refuse to see me the way I thought every man saw me. Those men have helped me to see and experience Jesus in a way I had never experienced him.

"I celebrated 2 years on July 31, 2009 clean from crack cocaine. I now celebrate 6 months from alcohol, 6 months from sexual immorality, 1 year 4 months from co-dependency, and I surrendered nicotine 90 days ago today. I am blessed with so many opportunities to give back and to share with others by sponsoring, mothering 4 children, meeting a need for someone, and getting to pray. Some days I can't find a single reason why God chose a sinner like me but I am so glad that he chose to give me life. I found that I am far more valuable to God than many sparrows. I found peace in my inner most being. I found my prince of peace to rescue me. I found healing and restoration. I found God when I sought him with my whole heart. I found a Savior."

I Found a Savior (Part Two)

This is the continuation of a Contact Church member's testimony. Part One may be read at http://adisciplesthoughts.blogspot.com/2009/11/i-found-savior-part-one.html.

"Our family moved to Texas. On September 16, 1996 I was taken from the complex laundry mat to a storage room on the back side and sexually assaulted. I remember laying there crying and begging God to save me. Men had continued to do whatever to my body and I never had a say. Not even the all-powerful God would save me. Part of me wished he had killed me and put me out of my misery. When he took my wedding ring and my husband's class rings off my fingers that night it hurt me more than anything else. Waking Russell up to tell him what happened was hard as I had already cheated and hadn't even gotten through the pregnancy; I was eight months pregnant. Russell eventually left for another woman which only reinforced all the lies--that I was unlovable, worthless, and not good enough. I was left with myself, 2 kids, and a bunch of drug addicts and alcoholics who I sure fought hard to not be like, but I resigned and figured that's exactly what I deserved. I would spend the next 10 years with a man who did every drug known to man. He was an IV drug user and an alcoholic who very much did not value women. He introduced me to a behind the scenes look at the drug world. I was at a place where I really welcomed death, in fact half the time I prayed for death. Well when that plan failed I began provoking anger in Bill___--maybe he would put me out of my misery. Bill and I would spend a lot of time arguing, fist fighting, drinking, drugging up until I got busted in February 2000. Then I would clean up, however, he would not. I began to realize that God was with me the night I was raped and that I was alive and God was working in my heart. After I cleaned up I became pregnant with my first girl. This spoke to me in awesome ways because I believed God would not give me little girls because I wouldn't be good enough, after 3 boys that was very easy for me to believe. There was this calm inner voice that kept saying leave this man and a much louder one saying no he might die without you. I wanted to leave all the time but I was terrified of being alone. I needed him to protect me. I would not cook, wouldn't clean, wouldn't try, just argue, scream, fight, and rage. Then I began rocking, abusing crack cocaine and neglecting my children. I was completely bankrupt. Imagine this, there I am on the floor searching for a crumb of crack to smoke and my 5 year old daughter bends down and says, 'Is this one momma?' I began to cry and she said, 'Momma I want you and daddy to stop fighting, stop cussing, stop smoking cigarettes and stop searching for white rocks.' I would soon discover the thing I feared the most--those precious girls that I just knew God would not give me had been molested. I was very calm and made a phone call to DHS. The judge ordered the children to remain in custody. I begged for Family Drug Court which required rehab, counseling, accountability, and responsibility. You would think that the reality of children being gone, what happened to them, and the court stuff pending would have been enough for me to get clean but it was not. Bill, myself, and my sister all shared an efficiency apartment where I helped my little sister off of her program through DUI school and strung her out on crack too! I later beat up my sister and she called the cops and the landlord."

To be continued.

I Found a Savior (Part One)

I wrote a very condensed version of a Contact Church member's story on my blog last month. This time, I will let her tell her story in her own words. She wrote this for Ron and Judy Babbit's newsletter to supporters of their ministry with the Contact Church.

"I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, incest, rape, physical and emotional abuse. I am overcoming chemical addiction, alcoholism, co-dependency, and sexual immorality. I still struggle with control, anger, un-forgiveness, fear, and feelings of inadequacy. It is a blessing for me to be a light of God's grace, glory, forgiveness, and unfailing love, and how it has been demonstrated in my life.

"I was born in Tulsa, Oklahoma. My childhood was chaotic at best. Very little consistency ever, well actually there was some. I knew there would be drinking, fighting, drugs, and yelling. Around age 8 or 9, myself and other family members were molested by a live-in babysitter who was a 28 year old male. After all the fighting and everything else in our home, it changed a lot of things. I began withdrawing and isolating myself. I went from a straight A student to a straight F student. I felt so dirty, angry, ugly, unlovable, and ignored. Couldn't my mom see, didn't she know, did she even care, and how selfish was it of me to feel that way when she was the one being beat up everyday. How could I even tell her? Nevertheless, these feelings went on for a while until one day my mom demanded to know the truth. With a lot of resistance I finally told her.

"Shortly after that my dad showed up. I needed my dad to love, approve, and protect me. When my dad began putting me in his bed I began having what I call emotional blackouts. It stopped with me and began with my sister. When she told me I called the police and had us removed. My sister and I were taken to a Tulsa shelter for children and then to DHS where my mom and dad would both exit the elevator and dad walked out of our lives. I began lying to myself about what my dad did to me. You see when I called the police I told my sister's truth not mine. I wanted my dad to be anything other than what he was or actually what his sin had made him. I still love him very much and accept all the things that have brought me right here today and made me into the woman God called me to be.

"My mom kept me for a little while longer and then gave me a choice to go live with my grandparents or she would separate all 5 of us into foster homes. Now my own mom was giving up on me. I was delivered to my grandparents. My grandpa began touching me in ways that made my skin crawl and I remember the alcohol on his breath. I began to despise the smell of alcohol especially after a 3 day drunk.

"I began seeking attention by kissing and touching, after all I could control that part or so I thought. I began trying to find love in sexual relationships. I tried to build a marriage on sexual relationship, in fact 2 marriages on sexual relationships. My first marriage took a turn for the worst when he joined the army. I felt abandoned and I didn't know how to be alone and unprotected. I cheated, got pregnant and was faced with what I had done almost immediately. I believe God had convicted me. Consumed with guilt and the fact that I couldn't hide what I had done, I called Russell and told him. While Marvin Phillips had baptized me 7 or 8 years earlier at Garnett Church of Christ, I still had doubts about his love for me. But God was working out my salvation and still is."

To be continued.

Beauty for Ashes

Last night, we attended the Contact Church's appreciation dinner for the urban ministry's supporters and volunteers.

After dinner, one of our members gave her testimony.

D.J. came to the Contact Church as a broken woman.

A short time before knocking on the church's door to ask for help, D.J. knew that she needed to make major changes in her life. As an addict to crack cocaine, her life was falling apart. She realized how low she had sunk when she was on her hands and knees desperately searching her house for a crumb of crack to smoke. Her 3-year old daughter joined her in the search, but she poured out her heart to her mother as she crawled alongside her. "Mommy, I'm tired of you and Daddy drinking, smoking, cussing, and fighting. And I'm tired of looking for little white rocks on the floor, too...Is this one, Mommy?"

Soon, D.J. and her then-husband were homeless. They could not keep up financially with a $700 a day drug addiction. As they were walking the streets, wondering what they were going to do, they spotted the Contact Church building and decided to ask for help.

Of course, they found help in the church. D.J.'s husband stayed at our recovery house for a while. However, he kept failing the urine analysis tests and had to leave the program.

D.J. was able to move in with our recovery minister's family until the church helped her to find and furnish an efficiency apartment.

She learned about Christ, confessed faith in him, and was baptized in his name. At one point in the past, she had been baptized; but according to D.J., "This time, it was different. I had changed."

She was making progress in her new life of following Jesus Christ when a major setback occurred. She found out that her daughter had been sexually abused by her then-husband in much the same way that D.J. herself had been abused as a child.

D.J. could not handle it. She left her husband and abandoned her children. The state took the children.

With the help of members of the Contact Church, D.J. slowly got back on track. She returned to the church and started the recovery process again. Eventually, she was able to get her children back.

Last night, D.J. testified to the grace of God in her life. She reported that she had been sober for more than a year, and had abstained from sexual immorality for 5 months. Because of some of the Contact Church's men, her attitude toward men in general had changed. She had seen that some men would not use and abuse her; some would treat her with respect and understanding; some could be trusted.

D.J.'s life has changed in dramatic ways because Christ has made a difference. Just imagine what her life may look like in 5 or 10 more years.

"The Spirit of the sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted...
to comfort all who mourn,
and provide for those who grieve...
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor" (Isaiah 61:1-3).

Bible Studies, STDs, and Unplanned Pregnancies

Here is an excerpt from our minister Ron Babbit's recent newsletter to supporters of his ministry with the Contact Church:

"Recently, during a Bible study, I was reading Luke 7--JESUS AT HIS BEST. The harlot was washing JESUS' feet. The young lady in the Bible study told me that she has a sexually transmitted disease. She hasn't been in school since February 2009. She doesn't stay with her mom; they are battling. GOD provided an opportunity to share the love of the LORD. Before our Bible study with this darlin, we picked her up as she was walking to visit with her friend who is 12 years old and pregnant. That gives us another opportunity to set her up with Mary Lasarsky. Mary loves, encourages, and teaches darlins who are in trouble with early pregnancies. Remember in Luke 7 the Pharisee sits back and criticizes the harlot washing JESUS' feet? Have you ever noticed how (#1) Pride Paralyzes Us, (#2) Forgiveness Releases Us, (#3) Faith Saves Us?"

For more information about the Contact Church's pregnancy program, please see www.contactchurch.net/Contact_Life.

Dealing with Pornography and Sexual Issues

"You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:27-28, English Standard Version).

I have had readers let me know that they are dealing with husbands who are addicted to pornography and that it is destroying their marriages. Since I am not an expert in this field, I am posting a few links to help others find help in dealing with this issue.

At www.familylife.com, you will find all kinds of good advice for families (including advice on sex and intimacy in marriage). I also recommend their marriage conference, A Weekend to Remember, and their radio program, FamilyLife Today.

At http://relit.org/porn_again_christian/, you will find a free book about pornography by Mark Driscoll. He is straightforward in his analysis and advice to men.

At http://xxxchurch.com/, you will find information about addiction to pornography and how to deal with it.

Please check out these resources. I hope they help.

Poverty

"The poor you will always have with you..." (Matthew 26:11).

I have been thinking about Jesus' comment that we will always have the poor with us. Why would he say that?

I have come to believe that Jesus considered poverty a perpetual problem in this life because of its multifaceted and complex causes. This is a list of a few of the causes of poverty that I have observed over the years:

1. Disabilities. People with mental, physical, and emotional disabilities can have a difficult time finding and retaining jobs that pay living wages. Their disabilities may be congenital, or they may be due to injury. A mentally retarded man will not make good wages, no matter how hard he works. A wheelchair-bound woman with ALS will not be able to work. A man with schizophrenia will have great difficulty retaining his job. Furthermore, as much as they need it, those with disabilities will find it more difficult to find a job that offers health care benefits.

2. Dysfunctional Families/Divorce. Unstable families, divorce, and couples who live together outside of marriage create disadvantaged children. These children grow up dealing with issues of distrust and insecurity. Often, they deal with depression and the cultivation of unhealthy relationships. They look for love, but tend to find it in the wrong places. They can have emotional scars that hinder their ability to make wise choices in life. They are more likely to repeat the sins of their parents and repeat the cycle for the next generation. Since divorce and single parenthood disrupts family income, poverty often follows.

When a child grows up physically, sexually, or emotionally abused, the impact follows him or her throughout life. They will be prone to depression or to violence or to both. They will be haunted by their past. It will be terribly hard for them to make wise decisions about their future as they run from their past. Suicide is a strong temptation in their worldview. They do not have the strength to fight their battles alone. They were robbed of their dignity in childhood. They will face very difficult days as adults. Their finances are merely one of their problems.

3. Drug and Alcohol Abuse. Drug addicts and drunkards have very difficult lives. They do not enjoy healthy relationships. They have trouble finding and maintaining good jobs. Sometimes the drug and alcohol abuse starts as a result of the first two causes of poverty. They try to self-medicate in an effort to escape their problems of physical, emotional, or mental pain. Sometimes the addiction starts because of an effort to fit in with friends who are abusing drugs and alcohol. They make irrationally bad choices. In either case, drug and alcohol abuse does nothing but harm. Furthermore, if they become sober after spending time in jail or prison, the likelihood of ever finding a job paying above minimum wage is almost non-existent.

So do we give up on people in these kinds of situations? No. We come alongside them and become their friends. We share our time, resources, advice, and faith. They need true friends. They need the hope that comes from Christ. They need a new start to life, and the encouragement to persevere when the times get tough. Wealthier Christians do not need to passively shake their heads in sadness over their plights. Everyone can help in some way.

Dealing with Pornography

"You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:27-28, New King James Version).

Mark Driscoll is producing a free online book dealing with the problem of pornography at http://relit.org/porn_again_christian/. (Warning: The content would be unsuitable for young children, but very appropriate for everyone who is a teenager or older.)

Tender Hearts in the Church

"Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment!" (James 2:12-13)

The following is an excerpt from our minister Ron Babbit's newsletter to supporters of his ministry with the Contact Church of Christ. The Contact Church is an urban ministry, dependent upon the support of individual Christians and congregations who want to support mission work in the inner city of Tulsa, Oklahoma.

"Please read below and 'listen' to a battle of the heart. This is often true of the lives that walk the halls at Contact Church. GOD keeps sending hearts who are searching for acceptance, answers, healing and direction in their lives...

"'Dear Mama, I really don't know where to begin. All I do know is I love you very much and wish things could have been different. The reason I'm writing this letter is to let you know how your drinking, drugging and choices have affected my life and how it affected the choices I've made. They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, but sometimes it leaves you very scared, confused, and lonely. Sometimes trying to carry out your own death. I can remember the fight when I was about 5 or 6 years old. It's so loud! Screaming, yelling, and you breaking all the dishes. Me, I'm screaming and crying and covering my ears. You guys are so lost in whatever you're fighting about that I feel scared for you, and for me. I'm ignored, maybe I don't matter, but you do, you are my mommy. It's all those big parties at our house. A lot of drinking, drugging and fighting. With me and my siblings, the drinking would start and the fear would kick in because we knew what was coming. So we seemed to act accordingly, arguing, fighting to get attention because we are ignored...By 8 or 9 years of age, I'm already comfortable with the inconsistent chaos in my life. I'm angry and hurt, lonely, afraid and unimportant. I'm to blame and I'm also powerless. I must do what you say when you tell me and not have any feelings or responses or reactions to it or I will be punished. You told me to tell the truth but then taught me to deny my reality. I had valid feelings and you told me to dry it up and stop crying. So I learned to suppress my emotions to the point that I couldn't even figure out any one single emotion. When men started molesting me, I couldn't tell you the truth because I might be punished or you wouldn't believe me. I just needed to talk to you without fear. I needed you so bad and you weren't available. I watched you become something I couldn't attach to! I tried several times seeking that bond with you, the need to be loved, comforted, held and accepted. Somehow I just wasn't good enough. At age 12 you sent me away...I was the problem and if I would go away then everyone else would be happy. Thus I have lived my life feeling responsible for others' behaviors. I've let others' opinions play a huge part in my decisions in life. I finally stopped trying to reach out to you because I was rejected, abandoned and hurt by you! Then I started reaching out to guys because I could give them what they wanted and briefly get a little of what I needed. But it was never enough to take it away.

"'By age 15, full of anger, I was seeking men, drugs, alcohol, attempted suicide, all temporary releases of emotions. All to change the way I feel. By the age of 20, I married someone who didn't drink or do drugs. Surely he was my Knight in Shining Armor. Maybe, but by now I'm the Queen of Chaos. I did everything to destroy that because I couldn't live in a nice stable, drug-free home with family who talked to each other and expressed healthy emotions and trusted one another. Of course I blamed them for everything...When that marriage ended, I was even more abandoned...I tried to take my own life. I had absolutely no value then. But I had my boys who I wanted to be a good mommy to. I read everything I could and I began to fight for them to protect them.

"' I met someone who would abuse me physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. That's what I thought I deserved. Over 8 years of time, I would lose my boys, give birth to 2 girls, get married, get my boys back, loose all my children, drinking, drugging, fight, scream, yet hate myself, hate him and neglect my children. All during this, I was searching for GOD. Seeking to stay clean, fighting to stay alive, and fighting for my children to be heard. All the while I was fighting for me to be heard, I suffered broken bones. While pregnant I was kicked many times, choked numerous times, and had my life threatened daily. I have successfully created the chaos and the neglect and the emotionally hostile environment. I seriously wanted to change the way I felt the whole time.

"'Finally when my girls were molested, I gave up the fight. I called for help. The only way I know how to live is with the drinking, drugging, fighting, emotional and verbal abuse. I'm at present making better choices, leaving my husband who has no desire to change his life. I have committed my life to the LORD by being baptized into CHRIST. I got my 2 girls back and they are living with me and I am in the process of receiving my education.'

(Ron Babbit concludes with his own comments)

"Thanks for praying for the Contact family. Our friend travels by public transportation and some of the Contact family members are also stepping up, getting involved, helping with transportation and loving others. Since our friend isn't bashful, she has invited many to services and we are currently reading the WORD with other families because of her love for the LORD. Praise GOD for HIS healing of her heart. Thanks again for your partnership of souls. GOD bless you. We love you,
Ron and Judy Babbit"

Thanks for reading this post! If you are a supporter of the Babbits or our other ministers, thanks for the support!

A Time for Mercy

I felt uncomfortable listening to callers and commentators on National Public Radio yesterday morning. The day before, the entire world learned that vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin's unmarried 17-year old daughter, Bristol, was carrying a child due to be born in about 4 months.

Bristol had sinned. She had violated God's standards of sexual morality.

Critics were quick to condemn her and her mother, but for some reason the baby's father was ignored.

However, Bristol had admitted to her sin. She had resisted any temptation to cover it up by aborting her child. She was planning to marry the father of her child. She was not lying about her sin. She was not promoting her sin as something others should do.

I could not join in the chorus of condemnation. I could not remove the account of the woman caught in adultery in John 8 from my mind. I could hear Jesus' words in my mind, "If any of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." I could hear him tell Bristol, "Neither do I condemn you. Go now and leave your life of sin."

An honest and responsible young woman who has failed morally does not need the condemnation of the world. If she were dishonest and irresponsible about her failure, she would need to be confronted for her own good, but that was not the case. She has admitted her failure and has been seeking to make the best of a difficult situation in dealing with the consequences.

Bristol Palin and girls like her around the world need mercy. Those without supportive families need others to help them through their difficult times. They need forgiveness and guidance. Some will need a home in which to stay. Some will need families who will adopt their children. They will need encouragement in continuing to pursue honesty before God and responsibility toward others.

I don't want to be among the people eager to throw stones at such girls. I would rather show mercy and help them.

Because You Didn't Give Up On Me...

Her quick smile masked a troubled heart. After several months of disgrace and shame, she was being allowed to return to her job.

It had started with a bad relationship growing worse. Her angry ex-boyfriend had threatened to post pornographic images of her on the Internet. Embarrassed at the prospect of being exposed to the world, she had broken into his house to find the disc containing her photographs.

After she was caught committing burglary, she was charged with a felony. When her employers found out, she was suspended from her job.

Her world had collapsed around her. She had been humiliated. Her secret had become public knowledge. She had lost her job and her dignity.

As far as she knew, her only future consisted of time in prison.

But then, she received a phone call. A Christian with whom she worked wanted to let her know that he and a few other believers were praying for her. He also let her know that his local church would be willing to provide some food and some help with paying a few bills. She cried.

Several months later, after having the charges reduced to a misdemeanor and being placed on probation, she was allowed to return to work. She found her co-worker and confided, "Before you started calling me and offering to help with your church, I was just about to give up. Then you called. I couldn't believe that you and your church would want to help someone like me. Nobody else even called to see how I was doing. Because you didn't give up on me, I began to feel like maybe God had not given up on me either. I don't know if I would even be here today if you hadn't called. I know I've made a lot of bad choices, but God has given me another chance and I don't want to blow it again."

Sometimes small acts of kindness can make a difference. "Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven" (Matthew 5:16, NIV).

Reputation is Important, But Not Most Important

"He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil's trap" (1 Timothy 3:7, NIV).

"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean. In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness" (Matthew 23:27-28, NIV).

Christians should be known for godly attitudes and actions. We should be known for kindness, compassion, courage, humility, love, joy, and many other positive qualities.

However, whether we are known for such qualities or not, we should live them. Our reputations may suffer for teaching the biblical truth about hot potato issues (like abortion, hell, homosexuality, etc.), but we must have the courage to teach the truth anyway. Our reputations may suffer for trying to help a friend caught in a sex scandal or abusing drugs, but we must show kindness and compassion anyway. Our reputations may suffer for confessing the sin of gossip and asking the victim for forgiveness, but we must live humbly anyway.

A few years ago, the Roman Catholic Church attempted to cover-up the widespread sexual abuse of children by its clergy. Concerned for its own reputation, the church slandered victims who spoke out against the abuse and denied all wrongdoing. In trying to save its reputation, it nearly destroyed its credibility.

What happened in the Roman Catholic Church a few years ago happens among denominations, congregations, and individuals constantly. Everyone is vulnerable to the temptation to place reputation above righteousness, but Jesus Christ calls his followers to a higher standard. The man with a reputation as a friend of sinners would rather see us risk our reputations to be good, rather than to merely look good.