I Found a Savior (Part Three)

This is the continuation of a Contact Church member's testimony. You may read the previous posts at:

(Part One) http://adisciplesthoughts.blogspot.com/2009/11/i-found-savior-part-one.html
(Part Two) http://adisciplesthoughts.blogspot.com/2009/11/i-found-savior-part-two.html.

"Bill and I found ourselves with nowhere to go. Wandering the streets trying to figure out a plan, I saw this church and said that we should go there and ask if they could help us. Reluctantly Bill followed and the church was Contact Church of Christ. When I contacted the church, Sarge told me the man I needed to talk to was Todd Box. When this man walked in he said, 'Hey I know you, you were my boss over at Sonic." This was amazing. I thought, 'Wow God placed this man in my path.' Just prior to going to rehab I confessed Jesus as my Lord and Todd Box re-baptized me. This time it was different. I knew without a doubt that things were going to change despite what I could see. I left my program convinced that I could keep Bill clean. But I began to self destruct and violated a court order and disappeared with my soon to be ex-husband for 4 months. Within 2 weeks I was strung out on crack cocaine again! A $500 a week job for both Bill and I, a $300 a week motel room, and $700 a night for crack. One Saturday morning there I sat broke, wondering why I was there, realizing he did not love me and that I deserved to be loved. With a motion to terminate parental rights in the proceedings, I stayed 30 more days cleaning up, then I packed my clothes. I went to work, gave my boss a change of address and asked him to mail me my check, and I finally left Bill. Basically it was just me and God and I talked to him everyday. I discovered the next court date was 1 week away before they would terminate all parental rights. I showed up, prayed and asked for my children's voices to be heard. I initiated counseling services again and attended outpatient therapy 3 days a week. I completed nurturing parenting classes, responsibility parenting, and parent education group to teach us about sexual abuse recognizing/reporting. I attended AA meetings, worked a full-time job and paid for random UAs and hair follicle tests. I did all this walking and riding the bus. I had this overwhelming fear every time I walked to court alone. I knew that this could be the moment when the courts would confirm what I had already believed--that I was not good enough."

To be continued.