A World of Hurting Souls

Recently, our preacher, Ron Babbit, sent a question to one of his friends in another state who teaches high school students. He asked the teacher to pose this question to his students: "What is the most difficult thing you have had to deal with growing up?" These are the responses from those students:

Boy (10th grade): "If I said that I have not looked at pornography, it would be a lie. My mom and dad have blockers on the Internet, but I know how to get around them. I wouldn't say that I'm addicted to porn; I just enjoy watching it when I am in the mood."

Girl (12th grade): "I am unsure of my sexuality. Sometimes I feel that I like guys and sometimes I feel that I like girls. I am attracted to both, and I just need to figure out which sex I like more."

Girl (9th grade): "My dad tells me every day that I am not pretty. He asks me why I can't be pretty like the other girls my age. He won't buy me any make-up because he says it won't help me look any better. He says it's a waste of money. I just want my father to like me."

Boy (12th grade): "My mom and I don't have any money. My dad is gone and my mom and I barely get by. We have had to move over 6 times in the past year, because we cannot pay our rent. It is very embarrassing for me because my friends are always asking me why I move."

Girl (10th grade): "I was raped over the summer two years ago and my dad didn't believe me. He said that I probably asked for it. To make matters worse, I became pregnant. Once my dad found out that the rape resulted in a pregnancy he just accused me of being promiscuous and told my family that I made up the rape story so that I wouldn't get in trouble. I had to change schools for a semester, and my father made me abort the baby."

Girl (10th grade): "I cut my thighs all the time. Every time that I feel pain or any time that I feel disappointment, I cut myself for punishment. I have been cutting myself ever since my mom and dad split up. I should have done more to keep them together. My dad is gone now and I never get to see him. It has been over three years since I have last seen him. I feel that my mom resents me but I don't know."

Girl (10th grade): "I have grown up in the church my whole life, and my dad is even a deacon in the church, but I hate church. I just go through the motions. I have to go to all the church functions and I have to put on my church face at school because everyone expects me to be that girl. Honestly, I have times where I can't stand God. I haven't prayed in over two years. I feel bad about it sometimes, but that is just how I feel right now. I'm tired of God being pushed on me from every direction."

Boy (12th grade): "I never feel that I am good enough. No matter what I do, I feel that I could do a better job. I want to succeed but feel that I can never please anyone. I just want to be successful, go to college, and follow in my sister's footsteps so that my folks will be happy with me."

Girl (12th grade): "My mom is a drug addict. My brother and I have to stay with my papa and meme sometimes. My mom never comes to any of my games and, when she is home, is just worried about getting her next fix. She can't hold down a job and is embarrassing. I put on my happy face at school, but really I want to just cry."

Girl (12th grade): "My uncle raped my sister and me when we were younger. We lived in Seattle and all of my other family lived here. We were raped over and over for a period of three years. Finally my aunt found out and got us help. My uncle is now in prison, and our family has no contact with my aunt. My father is in prison and my mom is dead. My sister and I now live with our aunt on the other side of our family. I struggle with trusting men. I actually hate men, all of them!"

Boy (9th grade): "My parents are divorced. It sucks...all my mom does is bad-mouth my dad and my dad just bad-mouths my mom. They don't even try."

Girl (10th grade): "My parents don't have any money. A lot of times, we don't even know where our next meal is going to come from. My dad can't even hold down a job. I guess that it's not all his fault though because he had some medical problems. My grandparents help out a lot but they can only do so much."

Girl (10th grade): "My dad just left mom for a younger girl. My sister and I caught him texting his girlfriend, and when he was sleeping, we stole his phone and showed my mom the texts. I don't get it. Why do men cheat? My mom cries a lot and now we live with my grandmother. I miss my dog the most. My dad won't let me bring my dog to my grandma's."

Boy (12th grade): "All I do is smoke weed. I love weed! My mom and dad know. They found out about four months ago. They were (angry) but I guess that they kind of got over it. My sister still gets me weed and we sometimes do it together. I don't think that it is bad. I just do it for fun and I don't feel that anyone is getting hurt from it. They actually say that weed is better for you than cigarettes. I don't know..."

These are the responses of kids in one small high school in another state, but it reflects life everywhere. We live in a world of hurting souls.

"Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience" (Colossians 3:12).

An Explanation

Due to pornographic spam in my comments section over the last 6 months, I have eliminated my comments section. I have deleted the comments as quickly as I have found them; but since they would not stop, I have deleted my comments section.

Dealing with Pornography and Sexual Issues

"You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:27-28, English Standard Version).

I have had readers let me know that they are dealing with husbands who are addicted to pornography and that it is destroying their marriages. Since I am not an expert in this field, I am posting a few links to help others find help in dealing with this issue.

At www.familylife.com, you will find all kinds of good advice for families (including advice on sex and intimacy in marriage). I also recommend their marriage conference, A Weekend to Remember, and their radio program, FamilyLife Today.

At http://relit.org/porn_again_christian/, you will find a free book about pornography by Mark Driscoll. He is straightforward in his analysis and advice to men.

At http://xxxchurch.com/, you will find information about addiction to pornography and how to deal with it.

Please check out these resources. I hope they help.

Dealing with Pornography

"You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:27-28, New King James Version).

Mark Driscoll is producing a free online book dealing with the problem of pornography at http://relit.org/porn_again_christian/. (Warning: The content would be unsuitable for young children, but very appropriate for everyone who is a teenager or older.)

Fireproof

"However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband" (Ephesians 5:33).

We saw a good romantic movie this afternoon. Fireproof tells the story of a firefighter and his wife who are going through difficult times in their marriage. The husband neglects his wife, saves his money for his own entertainment, ignores his wife's needs, is addicted to Internet pornography, and demands respect from his wife. The wife disrespects her husband, engages in a flirtatious emotional affair with a co-worker, whines about her husband's lack of communication, and pursues a divorce.

In an effort to save his marriage, the firefighter seeks his father's advice. The father encourages his son to take a 40-day love dare, in which the son learns to selflessly seek to meet the needs of his wife. When the dare is not working at the midway point, the son nearly gives up in frustration. He is tired of trying to gain his wife's love. His father explains that he needs Christ's help, the help of the One who knows what it is like to pursue the love of ungrateful and selfish people. The firefighter realizes that he has been selfish. He becomes a believer in Christ and seeks to show his wife unselfish love from that point on, seeking but not demanding her love in return.

I will not give away the end of the story, but it has a few surprising twists with themes respecting marriage,unconditional love, and parents.

The movie was made on a small budget with mostly amateur actors and actresses, but it was emotionally engaging with its good storyline. Guys, your wives will love this movie. Take her out and enjoy yourselves.

Because You Didn't Give Up On Me...

Her quick smile masked a troubled heart. After several months of disgrace and shame, she was being allowed to return to her job.

It had started with a bad relationship growing worse. Her angry ex-boyfriend had threatened to post pornographic images of her on the Internet. Embarrassed at the prospect of being exposed to the world, she had broken into his house to find the disc containing her photographs.

After she was caught committing burglary, she was charged with a felony. When her employers found out, she was suspended from her job.

Her world had collapsed around her. She had been humiliated. Her secret had become public knowledge. She had lost her job and her dignity.

As far as she knew, her only future consisted of time in prison.

But then, she received a phone call. A Christian with whom she worked wanted to let her know that he and a few other believers were praying for her. He also let her know that his local church would be willing to provide some food and some help with paying a few bills. She cried.

Several months later, after having the charges reduced to a misdemeanor and being placed on probation, she was allowed to return to work. She found her co-worker and confided, "Before you started calling me and offering to help with your church, I was just about to give up. Then you called. I couldn't believe that you and your church would want to help someone like me. Nobody else even called to see how I was doing. Because you didn't give up on me, I began to feel like maybe God had not given up on me either. I don't know if I would even be here today if you hadn't called. I know I've made a lot of bad choices, but God has given me another chance and I don't want to blow it again."

Sometimes small acts of kindness can make a difference. "Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven" (Matthew 5:16, NIV).

The Problems of Pornography

"May your fountain be blessed,
and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
A loving doe, a graceful deer---
may her breasts satisfy you always,
may you ever be captivated by her love.
Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress?
Why embrace the bosom of another man's wife?" (Proverbs 5:18-20, NIV).

While reading Phil Ware's blog (http://blogs.heartlight.org/phil/), I came across a post titled "Major Oops!" It was posted on October 4, 2007. It dealt with the problems of pornography.

Thinking about it, I realized that pornography contributes to many problems among us: discontented marriages, divorce, adultery, pre-marital sex, homosexuality, sexually transmitted diseases, abortion, rape, incest, child abuse, etc.

It opposes God's intentions for sex: a husband and wife who become one, and who can enjoy each other without guilt.

Help may be found for pornography addictions at http://www.xxxchurch.com/.