Saturday, July 05, 2008

Preachers Say the Funniest Things

I love irony. Here are a couple of ironic statements I have heard from preachers:

"We do not allow solos in this church, because it leads to pride." Then the preacher preaches an entire sermon solo.

"You don't need a commentary. Just read the Bible." When a preacher says that, prepare yourself for a 30 minute oral commentary on a single verse, complete with the historical background and context, definitions of Greek or Hebrew words, maps, charts, and lessons on the nuances of the grammar of an obscure language.

If you have heard or said an ironic statement from the pulpit, please share it. I would love to read it.

7 comments:

jackie chesnutt said...

Terry, one of my alltime favorites is: "In conclusion..."

I did love what an long-ago preacher used to say: "And, finally....though not immediately."

jackie chesnutt said...

I forgot one, Terry. I heard a preacher years ago commenting on Phil. 4, say, "God promises peace that passes our understanding. What that means is..."

I thought that was a riot!

Terry said...

Jackie,
Thanks for the examples! It occured to me that your first example goes back to the apostle Paul. Half way through the book of Philippians, he writes, "Finally, my brothers,..." (Philippians 3:1). Nobody can accuse preachers today of not following apostolic example when they do the same thing during a sermon.

Your second example IS a riot! I love the presumption of the preacher who thinks he can explain something that passes our understanding.

I love your sense of humor, brother!

Mike said...

Yep, I have heard we don't need a commentary line before. Sadly good study habits are born in good research. I read a little Greek but am no expert. So I study at the feet of experts, that means I pick up the commentary.

Terry said...

Mike,
I like good commentaries, too. I also like good sermons. Both can help me to understand the Bible, God, or myself a little better.

Allen's Brain said...

Wow! This seems like a topic tailor-made for me, but I can't think of any. Hafta' ask my congregation.

Terry said...

Allen,
I definitely had you in mind when I asked for some input. I'm looking forward to reading your examples.